Bats without balls
often cling to walls.
They can hear a pitch resound.
That’s why they hang upside down.
They can sense the stitches turn
in their radar fueled nocturne.
Bats, not balls, are taking flight
in the diamond moonlit night.
C- Manuel "Trans" Mission
(first transgender major leaguer)
1B- Lancelot "Red" Cox
2B- Levelone Bitterson
(never forgave pressure of name)
SS- Valenzuela "Dough" Meaney
(mom from Mexico, dad from Detroit)
3B- Conner Store
LF- Phlint "Striker" Locke
(well-travelled player rep)
CF- Marlon "Jackson" Martinette
(moonwalks the substantial pasture)
RF- Peter "Gray" Harris
(has got the arm)
P- Bumbershoot "Perry" Winkles
(never been rained out)
[LET THE GAMES BEGIN]
Ron Swoboda, Baltimore born, played right field for Mets.
Helped beat O’s in a series with a catch no one forgets.
Bud Black pitched for fifteen years, won one ring with K.C.
He manages the Padres now, succeeding Bruce Bochy.
Tony Fernandez helped Jays to series win at short.
He was perhaps the skinniest switch hitter in the sport.
Garrett Anderson played the most games in Angel history.
He won a series, Home Run Derby and the All-Star MVP.
Wilbert Robinson breathed baseball; life was just a hobby.
Eighteen years he managed Brooklyn, nicknamed "Uncle Robbie."
"Nippy" Jones was hit on foot by pitch in series game.
A turning point, shoe polish on the ball confirmed his claim.
Harmon Killebrew was six times A.L. homer champ,
The Hall-of-Famer’s best years spent in Senator/Twin camp.
Bob Shaw beat Sandy Koufax in a one-oh series duel.
He once balked five times in a game and that was not too cool.
Fred Gladding pitched for thirteen years as Tiger and Astro.
His lifetime batting average, oh-sixteen, is record low.
Al Downing, little lefty, came from Trenton to the Yanks.
He served up Hank’s seven-fifteen. For that we owe him thanks.
Don Baylor played in series three straight years with different clubs.
The power hitter later managed both Rockies and Cubs.
Mark Grace, as Cub in nineties, had most hits in the decade.
He finally won a ring after a Diamondback upgrade.
Gus Zernial was A.L. homer champ in fifty-one.
His baseball card the next year, balls-on-bat, was really fun.
Eddie Kasko, ex-infielder, helmed Red Sox for four seasons.
Had winning record but no first place for Oriole reasons.
Rico Petrocelli played both short and third, Red Sox his team.
He and Yaz were all stars in the Sox failed "Impossible Dream."
Jim Edmonds won eight gold gloves as an Angel and a Card.
He hit with power, won a ring. He could patrol that yard.
Babe Herman hit for the cycle a co-record three times.
His fielding and base running were considered minor crimes.
"Home Run" Brown, a longtime Monarch, is now in the Hall of Fame.
Better-known Josh Gibson gave Willard the powerful nickname.
Bill Robinson played sixteen years and got one series ring.
As hitting coach for Mets and Marlins, later got more bling.
Derek Jeter, twenty-year Yanks’ shortstop will step down.
Wearing five rings, his next destination’s Cooperstown.
Joe Kuhel amassed two thousand hits and had a funky name.
While with the Senators he had three triples in a game.
Dick Drago pitched for thirteen years and lost more than he won.
With Angels he gave up Hank Aaron’s very last home run.
Clay Kirby pitched for eight years, won a series ring as Red.
Retired, had a heart attack, at forty-three was dead.
Carlos Delgado’s twelve years with the Blue Jays brought him fame.
The Puerto Rican slugger hit four homers in a game.
Don Mincher’s last hit was a pincher, in A’s series win.
As Senator, he’d turned into both Ranger and a Twin.
Ken Reitz had two stints with the Cards and played a good third base.
He was slow, though, evidenced by his GIDP pace.
George Vukovich won his ring in his Phillie playing days.
After three years there, he went to Cleveland for Von Hayes.
Doug Jones, a five-time all star, threw sixteen years in the show.
He pitched relief, gave batters grief. His tosses were quite slow.
Karl Spooner struck out fifteen in his rookie Brooklyn win,
But hurt his arm next spring and he was never good again.
Tom Haller was a catcher who knew how to call a game.
In twelve years he caught six pitchers who made the Hall of Fame.
Marty Barrett, second sacker, three times worked hidden ball tricks.
Struck out by Orosco to end Sox-Mets series, eighty-six.
Jim Deshaies was starting lefty pitcher twelve years for six clubs.
Had best years with Astros and now does t.v. broadcasts with Cubs.