Red Tin Noodles

When you’re in a jam, as I so often am, it’s best to stop and think before you start to sink. Do not succumb to doubt. There’s always some way out. Don’t panic or lose … Read more

There is no zone of safety anymore. Turn any corner, you may find a war. The fight may have to do with race, with underworld or outer space. The combat may use guns or knives. … Read more

It’s a shame computer games contain so many guns. Now aliens can shoot down dreams, agnostics hunt for nuns. Lucky kids who kill enough ascend to level three. Still we wonder at society’s great savagery.

Diamonds explode into a dwindling sky, but rain back down to earth as broken glass. One carat perches on a silver cloud. While the rest fall on the under class. The people gathering these shiny … Read more

When waiting for a train or bus, stay clear of those who spit or cuss. Despite their soft and furry backs, don’t pet the rats that roam the tracks. It’s good to bring a book … Read more

Santa’s in a nursing home. Rudolph conked him on the dome. It was clear St. Nick was addled when the reindeer were found saddled. Elves were working triple shifts. Toys were being lost in drifts. … Read more

A Spanish pup escaped the pound and headed toward the border. He happened on a frankfurt stand and dared put in an order. "I’ll have a weiner. Make it hot. I’ll need ketchup and relish." … Read more

One day some lipsticks melted on the dashboard of the car. It looked like modern art had carried on a bit too far. On real hot days this waxworks turned to dripping mass of ooze. … Read more

It’s tough when cell mates say goodbye. They’re men, so they don’t want to cry. Like brothers who have both done wrong and been sent to their room so long, each one knows what their … Read more

Uncle Sham pulled nickels from my ear. Always smelled of cigarettes and beer. Told me once that he’d buy me a horse. It was just a plastic toy, of course. Sometimes he would bounce me … Read more

O, eggs in your yellowy pile, approaching the color of bile, we honor your wedding with bacon, with oatmeal the witness, stirred but not shaken. And there stands serene orange juice, right next to black … Read more

Some say that their hairy arms are not amongst a man’s great charms. But some insist that if they’re braided then the look is quite upgraded. Some claim shaving is no trouble up until your … Read more

Eve was teed off at her guy. He said he wanted apple pie. She was extremely discontented. Fire wasn’t yet invented. Adam said they could adjust, maybe use some leaves for crust. Eve said no … Read more

Never curse a nurse. There could be nothing worse. No matter how you feel, they’re there to help you heal. They’ll treat you with compassion although you’re out of fashion. They deal with blood and … Read more