{"id":1017,"date":"2017-12-14T04:02:52","date_gmt":"2017-12-14T09:02:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1017"},"modified":"2017-12-14T04:02:52","modified_gmt":"2017-12-14T09:02:52","slug":"lewd-division","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1017","title":{"rendered":"Lewd Division"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At first there was amorous addition,<br \/>\nsoon followed by sexual subtraction.<br \/>\nAnd then came perverse multiplication,<br \/>\nleading naturally to lewd division.<br \/>\nSome drew the line at pornographic calculus,<br \/>\nafter struggling through hot geometry,<br \/>\nThen they put away their slide rules and protractors<br \/>\nand went off on a tangent about the offensive nature<br \/>\nof numbers, how gross they found pi r squared,<br \/>\nand the first time they saw isosceles<br \/>\nin the hypotenuse position. The remainder<br \/>\nis a cube root, to be sure.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At first there was amorous addition, soon followed by sexual subtraction. And then came perverse multiplication, leading naturally to lewd division. Some drew the line at pornographic calculus, after struggling through hot geometry, Then they &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1017\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[3,4],"class_list":["post-1017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2","tag-poem","tag-poetry-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":688,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=688","url_meta":{"origin":1017,"position":0},"title":"Corporal Geometry","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 5, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Corporal Geometry informed Private Equation, \"W'ell have to take Right Angle Hill if we're to save this nation.\" But Major Addition said there was one condition. It seemed Sergeant Subtraction had seen too much combat action. So Colonel Long Division made a tactical decision. Send Captain Algebra up the hill\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":443,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=443","url_meta":{"origin":1017,"position":1},"title":"Baseball Birthdays: May twenty-sixth","author":"Rick Young","date":"May 26, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Darrell Evans helped out last time Tigers won it all. He hit four hundred homers but he's still not in the Hall. Jim Frey took K.C. and the Cubs both to division crowns, Elevating teams which had seen their fair share of downs. Kevin Kennedy took Sox to playoffs, lost\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":128,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=128","url_meta":{"origin":1017,"position":2},"title":"Elementary, My Dear Grammar","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 21, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"Abstract addition. Subversive subtraction. Rabid multiplication. Joy division. Golly geometry. Southern calculus. Recession. Principal's officer. Superintendent hero. School board stiff. Busdriver ed. Monkey bars and grills. Chalkboard outlines. Hot lunch date. Hall Monitor and Merrimac. Boys' rumor. Raised hand jive. Wood shop stewart. Penmanship of state. Gym class distinction. Playground\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/TomCat.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/TomCat.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/TomCat.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/TomCat.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2414,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2414","url_meta":{"origin":1017,"position":3},"title":"Disunited States","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 1, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"When insurrection doesn't work, try secession, it's knee-jerk. If your land won't serve\u00a0you\u00a0well, tell those blues to go to hell. Red states can live on their own. Bureaucrats, leave us alone. We are not a tiny fringe. Our numbers will make you cringe. Texas filed its legislation. Say goodbye to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2662,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2662","url_meta":{"origin":1017,"position":4},"title":"Union Specific","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 1, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"The state of the union is in pain, and not just because Russia's in Ukraine. We still have citizens in great division, with not much more on both sides than derision. It seems that since the president's election, the right's taken to madness and objection. The government is locked in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2772,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2772","url_meta":{"origin":1017,"position":5},"title":"Weigh My Dust.","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 19, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"(Note from the author's son: Below is a snippet from one of our email exchanges in June 2021. I felt compelled to share this mention of a title for a poem.) Weight down to 179 today, aiming next\u00a0at high school mark of 150. Then a zen-like 85. New\u00a0poem\u00a0title: \"Weigh My\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1017","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1017"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1017\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1017"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1017"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1017"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}