{"id":1303,"date":"2019-01-20T05:58:37","date_gmt":"2019-01-20T10:58:37","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1303"},"modified":"2019-01-20T05:58:37","modified_gmt":"2019-01-20T10:58:37","slug":"the-agony-of-victory","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1303","title":{"rendered":"The Agony of Victory"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>Bats flew like helicopters<\/div>\n<div>from stadiums, sandlots and parks,<\/div>\n<div>all across the sports-infected country.<\/div>\n<div>It was the first protest of its kind.<\/div>\n<div>Inappropriate usage of trees, they ranted.<\/div>\n<div>Last year they&#8217;d ruined dear football<\/div>\n<div>with their chants about saving brains.<\/div>\n<div>And hockey has long been a styrofoam sport.<\/div>\n<div>Next year they will focus on MMA<\/div>\n<div>with a call for the incorporation<\/div>\n<div>of body painting within the ring action.<\/div>\n<div>Mixed Partial Arts will never fly.<\/div>\n<div>The moving backboard all but killed hoops.<\/div>\n<div>And the elderly-in-crosswalks<\/div>\n<div>addition will be the end of NASCAR.<\/div>\n<div>All this to pump up the ratings for war.<\/div>\n<div>Generals want that sweet advertising money.<\/div>\n<div>And the pop-up battles have, indeed,<\/div>\n<div>captured the public&#8217;s attention.<\/div>\n<div>Gunshots aren&#8217;t quite so scary<\/div>\n<div>when it might just be a game breaking out.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Bats flew like helicopters from stadiums, sandlots and parks, all across the sports-infected country. It was the first protest of its kind. Inappropriate usage of trees, they ranted. Last year they&#8217;d ruined dear football with their chants about saving brains. And hockey has long been a styrofoam sport. Next year they will focus on MMA [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1303","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1303"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1304,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1303\/revisions\/1304"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1303"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1303"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1303"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}