{"id":1340,"date":"2019-02-19T16:03:56","date_gmt":"2019-02-19T21:03:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1340"},"modified":"2019-02-19T16:03:56","modified_gmt":"2019-02-19T21:03:56","slug":"slip-of-the-tongue","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1340","title":{"rendered":"Slip of the Tongue"},"content":{"rendered":"
I only ate one slice of bacon,<\/p>\n
just some gristle and some fat,<\/div>\n
but my vegan friends went crazy,<\/div>\n
asking how could I do that.<\/div>\n
Acted like I’d stripped a forest,<\/div>\n
killed Babe, eaten Bambi’s mom,<\/div>\n
like I’d torn off Dumbo’s ears<\/div>\n
or dropped a raw hamburger bomb.<\/div>\n
It was just a momentary lapse,<\/div>\n
I hastened to explain.<\/div>\n
But that pork inside my stomach<\/div>\n
really seemed to give them pain.<\/div>\n
There’s no calming hard-line vegans<\/div>\n
once you have ingested meat.<\/div>\n
Might as well take this thing further,<\/div>\n
walk ’em down carnivore street.<\/div>\n
Told them I was really sorry,<\/div>\n
their forgiveness I would beg.<\/div>\n
It’s a good thing, then I mumbled,<\/div>\n
that they hadn’t seen the egg.<\/div>\n
And tonight, said, for my supper,<\/div>\n
I was planning one great meal:<\/div>\n
frogs’ legs all done up in butter,<\/div>\n
chicken liver and some veal.<\/div>\n
Now my vegan friends are wary.<\/div>\n
When I pass, they all look south.<\/div>\n
I imagine I look scary<\/div>\n
with blood dripping from my mouth.<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I only ate one slice of bacon, just some gristle and some fat, but my vegan friends went crazy, asking how could I do that. Acted like I’d stripped a forest, killed Babe, eaten Bambi’s … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1340","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2604,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2604","url_meta":{"origin":1340,"position":0},"title":"Thanksgiving In Space","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 25, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Musk and Bezos broke the bread. Most everyone else was dead. Shatner, now a-hundred-ten, had to be revived again. Turkey served in Pez dispensers set off the food warning sensors. Stuffing made of vegan dirt spilled all over Bill Gates' shirt. Two guys ate more than all others. Naturally, it\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1840,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1840","url_meta":{"origin":1340,"position":1},"title":"Shotgun Blasts","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The Supreme Court doesn't like my xenophobic attitudes. I thought I had a quid pro quo when hiring new dudes. Neil Gorsuch stabbed me in the back because I don't like gays. Now Roberts with this DACA hack. It's been a tough few days. 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When I start to ask for whiskey, that's a sign I'm getting frisky, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":805,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=805","url_meta":{"origin":1340,"position":4},"title":"On Clough Road","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 21, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"On Clough Road when I was a child we had some maple trees. In fall the leaves lay on the lawn, in places to my knees. My dad would rake this dried debris into one giant pile. My friends and I were then allowed to play in it awhile. We'd\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1687,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1687","url_meta":{"origin":1340,"position":5},"title":"No Sunshine","author":"Rick Young","date":"April 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Almost a million jobs are gone. I think it's time to mow the lawn. And where is my stimulus check? I stayed inside, so what the heck? I haven't seen my friends in weeks. Wind whistles through my hollow cheeks. The raindrops are a welcome patter. Nothing else now seems\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Obit"","block_context":{"text":"Obit","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=35"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1340","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1340"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1340\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1341,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1340\/revisions\/1341"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1340"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1340"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1340"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}