{"id":1414,"date":"2019-06-16T12:23:46","date_gmt":"2019-06-16T16:23:46","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1414"},"modified":"2019-06-16T12:23:46","modified_gmt":"2019-06-16T16:23:46","slug":"big-red-tie","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1414","title":{"rendered":"Big Red Tie"},"content":{"rendered":"

What do you say to your father, Eric and Don?<\/p>\n

That all depends if the tape recorder’s on.<\/div>\n
If it’s rolling, then it’s, Happy Father’s Day!<\/div>\n
If it’s not, then, What’d Putin send your way?<\/div>\n
We’re both hoping it’s a big red tie.<\/div>\n
Or a manual on how to lie.<\/div>\n
Maybe secret codes? Who knows what that bodes?<\/div>\n
Maybe he’ll give Star Force half the sky.<\/div>\n
He said for your next inauguration<\/div>\n
he’ll send you that tape of urination.<\/div>\n
With that safe from every fake news station,<\/div>\n
you can take a four-year-long vacation.<\/div>\n
Move the white house down to Mar a Lago.<\/div>\n
where our brothers Brutus and Iago<\/div>\n
can finally leave their cage.<\/div>\n
They’ve almost come of age.<\/div>\n
We’ll form a new Capone gang like Chicago.<\/div>\n
And then, at last, you can date your own daughter.<\/div>\n
In Florida, there’s weird things in the water.<\/div>\n
If Vlad just plays his cards,<\/div>\n
you two can become pards:<\/div>\n
the Red and Orange Travel Troop of Slaughter!<\/div>\n
Happy Father’s Day, Daddy.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

What do you say to your father, Eric and Don? That all depends if the tape recorder’s on. If it’s rolling, then it’s, Happy Father’s Day! If it’s not, then, What’d Putin send your way? We’re both hoping it’s a big red tie. Or a manual on how to lie. Maybe secret codes? Who knows […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1414","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1877,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1877","url_meta":{"origin":1414,"position":0},"title":"WHO’s Next","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 8, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"He's putting out a bounty on the bounty story leaker. He'll fill him up with Chlorox, pour it down him by the beaker. He hasn't said a word to Putin, playing Don the Meeker. But his base is eroding, maybe even mister speaker. I dream the day Pelosi will just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1575,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1575","url_meta":{"origin":1414,"position":1},"title":"A Dark Hallmark","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Shout out to our heartless king on this valentine's day, hunkered in his office cutting programs for the poor, blowing up old monuments that stand in his wall's way, insulting all his minions and dominions, to be sure. 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Trump, of course, looked deep into his magic tea leaves cup,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2063,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2063","url_meta":{"origin":1414,"position":4},"title":"Insurrection Act II","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Rotund king in gold bodysuit\u00a0enters right, tips his hair, tells a few one-liner lies, exits left, very slowly, down a small ramp, trips, rolls offstage. Four elderly white men in turtle suits march in, singing: \" Our king is a good man who hates bad protestors, who'll team up with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2664,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2664","url_meta":{"origin":1414,"position":5},"title":"High Alert","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 3, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"When Putin's in his combat zone, he'll take on the whole world alone. It doesn't matter what the cost. He'll keep on 'til the world is lost. Ukraine has him very vexed. Poland knows\u00a0it could be next. A million refugees have fled, husbands left behind for dead. They'll give an\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1414","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1414"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1414\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1415,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1414\/revisions\/1415"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1414"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1414"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1414"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}