{"id":1423,"date":"2019-06-26T11:38:26","date_gmt":"2019-06-26T15:38:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1423"},"modified":"2019-06-26T16:33:54","modified_gmt":"2019-06-26T20:33:54","slug":"the-news-is-in-a-fix-6-26","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1423","title":{"rendered":"The News Is In a Fix (6\/26)"},"content":{"rendered":"
A waitress in Chicago spit on Eric.<\/div>\n
Flamingo killer struck dead by a truck.<\/div>\n
The chief of protocol threatened his workers with a whip.<\/div>\n
The news is weird today. Seems we’re in luck.<\/div>\n
Some twenty Dems are ready to debate insanity.<\/div>\n
And Cardi B will fight her strip club charge.<\/div>\n
Kim Jong Un is leading POTUS by his vanity.<\/div>\n
While killer Saudi prince still’s living large.<\/div>\n
Our captives at the border cannot get a bar of soap.<\/div>\n
And cell phones create horn-like bumps on skulls.<\/div>\n
Roy Moore is coming back, which must give pedophiles some hope.<\/div>\n
What say we spit on Eric during lulls.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

A waitress in Chicago spit on Eric. Flamingo killer struck dead by a truck. The chief of protocol threatened his workers with a whip. The news is weird today. Seems we’re in luck. Some twenty … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[32],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1423","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-list"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":632,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=632","url_meta":{"origin":1423,"position":0},"title":"Depot Chackra","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 26, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"When waiting for a train or bus, stay clear of those who spit or cuss. Despite their soft and furry backs, don't pet the rats that roam the tracks. It's good to bring a book or magazine. And don't pick seats across from the latrine.","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":679,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=679","url_meta":{"origin":1423,"position":1},"title":"Corridors of Perception","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 1, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Gravitational update indecisive, as indicated by floating peas, bees sucked into dark holes and seas flat, motionless. Whilst in theory we madly spin, the rope simply hangs. Beyond the kicking legs of swingers, the street is dead. The trees just shed. And now rocks spit from the earth, stars burst\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":64,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=64","url_meta":{"origin":1423,"position":2},"title":"Tenuous Portent","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 14, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"The bait shop\u2019s been decorated with cornstalks and old flags. Another seasonal war appears. The leaf wrencher attacks the futile pushcart vendor. The fatalistic pharmacist overpacks his capsules. Morning mists, like gray troops, storm the flatlands. The arc of the earth and the edge of the sky clash in thunderous\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poetry"","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"Frida glasses","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Frida_glasses.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Frida_glasses.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Frida_glasses.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Frida_glasses.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Frida_glasses.jpg?resize=1050%2C600 3x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Frida_glasses.jpg?resize=1400%2C800 4x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2179,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2179","url_meta":{"origin":1423,"position":3},"title":"Whitey Ford (’28-’20)","author":"Rick Young","date":"October 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Who's that lefty on the hill? He can really move that pill. How's he make it do that shit? Cuts the ball or uses spit. Throws a foot short of the rubber. Ball's so juiced it could be flubber. He could stay out all night drinking. Just mean his curve\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":655,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=655","url_meta":{"origin":1423,"position":4},"title":"The Sultan of Sweet","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 11, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"When licked, the hand of our benevolent ruler tasted just like butterscotch. He often wore a suit made from what in the west are usually called 'jimmies.' It was his strange custom when out walking amongst the poor to spit chocolates to the crowd. If noted rulers visited, he gave\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2339,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2339","url_meta":{"origin":1423,"position":5},"title":"Memorabilia","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 29, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Dan collected face masks of dead goalies and was known to steal some sneaks occasionally. People had many fetishes in Beaverton. His pal Andy had a vial of Blazer sweat and a headband he claimed was Bill Walton's. A gang of the guys got together some nights and traded wristbands,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1423","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1423"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1423\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1425,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1423\/revisions\/1425"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1423"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1423"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1423"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}