{"id":1493,"date":"2020-01-11T14:16:38","date_gmt":"2020-01-11T19:16:38","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1493"},"modified":"2020-01-11T14:16:38","modified_gmt":"2020-01-11T19:16:38","slug":"all-over-this-spam","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1493","title":{"rendered":"All Over This Spam"},"content":{"rendered":"

Amongst my spam, instructions, on making old knives sharp.<\/p>\n

Another touts that I’ll have doubts if I don’t join in AARP.<\/div>\n
One says I’ll have a great surprise if I will only exercise.<\/div>\n
Another has glass lenses that are daily crying for my eyes.<\/div>\n
There’s many tell me how to vote and even how to pray.<\/div>\n
And several hock the coffins that I’ll need on judgement day.<\/div>\n
Makeup, break up, tips on cooking,<\/div>\n
all things for which I’m not looking,<\/div>\n
influences my take on each spammer.<\/div>\n
All day I sing, “If I Had a Hammer.”<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Amongst my spam, instructions, on making old knives sharp. Another touts that I’ll have doubts if I don’t join in AARP. One says I’ll have a great surprise if I will only exercise. Another has glass lenses that are daily crying for my eyes. There’s many tell me how to vote and even how to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1493","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1581,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1581","url_meta":{"origin":1493,"position":0},"title":"Day of the Red","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 17, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Keeping to the spirit of this\u00a0year's President's Day, I'll spend two dozen hours with nothing good to say. I'll start with his constant attack on our endangered species, and segue to his lying mouth, which, open, smells like feces. Next I'll mention how he mocked a disabled reporter, how, when\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2210,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2210","url_meta":{"origin":1493,"position":1},"title":"Concession Speak","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 7, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I wish Sleepy Joe the best. Be assured I hid a pest somewhere in the office walls which responds to twitter calls. You'd better change the old nuke code, in case I get in launching mode. It only takes small ammo fare to destroy all Delaware. You do love trains,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1037,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1037","url_meta":{"origin":1493,"position":2},"title":"Letter to NRA Santa","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 25, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"All I want for Christmas is a gun, just like little Ralphie, except real. Armor-piercing bullets would be fun, and a barrel made of polished steel. Santa, bring me ammo clips, body targets, liquor nips. Arm me for a firefight. A silencer would be all right. Shoulder holster would be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":928,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=928","url_meta":{"origin":1493,"position":3},"title":"Retirement Blues","author":"Rick Young","date":"August 17, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm looking for some glue, but all the tubes are empty. In the kitchen, aerosol cans hiss and try to tempt me. I've stolen vodka from next door. I've smoked a pipe of stems. I feel like meaning's matador. I need some M&M's. If I were in Ecuador, I could\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2007,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2007","url_meta":{"origin":1493,"position":4},"title":"Dick Tooter","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"If you want to be nice, you could vote for me twice while I work out my kill-the-mail scheme. I'm the nightmare the hippies saw coming, the anti-Amerikan dream. I'll blow up all racial pretensions and continue to subvert the law. With my planeload of dark thugs inventions, I can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Song"","block_context":{"text":"Song","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1949,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1949","url_meta":{"origin":1493,"position":5},"title":"D Day","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Delay the election 'til the virus settles down. Vote count will be easier with so few folks around. The good\u00a0folks who elect me will be only the immune. Perhaps I'll turn the country into just one big commune. Not like Easy Rider or the wacky Manson thing, but just a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1493","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1493"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1493\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1494,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1493\/revisions\/1494"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1493"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1493"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1493"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}