{"id":1520,"date":"2020-01-22T15:37:32","date_gmt":"2020-01-22T20:37:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1520"},"modified":"2020-01-22T15:37:32","modified_gmt":"2020-01-22T20:37:32","slug":"make-assholes-graphic-again","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1520","title":{"rendered":"Make Assholes Graphic Again"},"content":{"rendered":"

There is now a graphic novel of Mueller’s report,<\/p>\n

for those who are fond of cartoons and of books real short.<\/div>\n
See the funny Russian agents in Trump’s oval room.<\/div>\n
He tells them a bunch of secrets, words flash, “Bang! Whap! Zoom!”<\/div>\n
See the crimes and misdemeanors dressed in funny suits.<\/div>\n
See his pal Vlad Putin walk all over him with boots.<\/div>\n
See him chase James Comey like Roadrunner off a cliff.<\/div>\n
There’s a scratch-and-sniff Jeff Sessions, if you want a whiff.<\/div>\n
In the pop-up section, there’s a large Trump Moscow Tower.<\/div>\n
Coloring the co-conspirators might take an hour.<\/div>\n
Cut-out Jared and Ivanka come with suits and dresses.<\/div>\n
Simulated Melania lets you comb her tresses.<\/div>\n
And because this graphic novel wants to tell it all,<\/div>\n
it arrives pre-packaged in a mini border wall.<\/div>\n
There is one brief warning, though, the end might cause you rage:<\/div>\n
images of Mueller comatose on the last page.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is now a graphic novel of Mueller’s report, for those who are fond of cartoons and of books real short. See the funny Russian agents in Trump’s oval room. He tells them a bunch … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1520","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2063,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2063","url_meta":{"origin":1520,"position":0},"title":"Insurrection Act II","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Rotund king in gold bodysuit\u00a0enters right, tips his hair, tells a few one-liner lies, exits left, very slowly, down a small ramp, trips, rolls offstage. Four elderly white men in turtle suits march in, singing: \" Our king is a good man who hates bad protestors, who'll team up with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1575,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1575","url_meta":{"origin":1520,"position":1},"title":"A Dark Hallmark","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Shout out to our heartless king on this valentine's day, hunkered in his office cutting programs for the poor, blowing up old monuments that stand in his wall's way, insulting all his minions and dominions, to be sure. The march of broken bodies he's imagined in his head will soothe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1676,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1676","url_meta":{"origin":1520,"position":2},"title":"Indiscretion Alley","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"\"Sarkafo\" Gus\u00a0was not a social\u00a0distancing believer. He'd prowl the street quite indiscreet, a ciggie butt retriever. He'd kiss a baby, kiss a dog, if any were around. He'd pick up pennies, anything that's shiny, off the ground. Cops would yell, \"Hey! Dumb as hell! Get yourself back inside!\" He'd make\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Obit"","block_context":{"text":"Obit","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=35"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":949,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=949","url_meta":{"origin":1520,"position":3},"title":"Splitsville","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 30, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"A miasma of misinformed mitochondria were swimming in a pool of DNA. Put on some suits, gadzooks, you're risking hypothermia, said a neutron who was sitting far away. It is no use, this is abuse, said a flagellum, who just happened to be paddling by. I challenge you all to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":598,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=598","url_meta":{"origin":1520,"position":4},"title":"Afterlife Duets","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"McQueens are walking, hand-in-hand, Steve and Butterfly. Funny how celebrities pair up after they die. There's the Powells, handsome couple, Dick and Adam Clayton. And the Taylors, Liz and Robert: didn't know they're datin'. Lovely Leigh gals, Viv and Janet, always taking showers. Lyndon Johnson loves to walk with Van\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1598,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1598","url_meta":{"origin":1520,"position":5},"title":"King of Fraud","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 22, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The King of Fraud thinks he is god. No law or rule can touch him. Amazing how the lurching clod persuades his mass to clutch him. His wispy wig and paint-on tan are awkward and appalling. He does his thinking on the can where his great bulk is sprawling. He\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1520","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1520"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1520\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1521,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1520\/revisions\/1521"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1520"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1520"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1520"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}