{"id":1556,"date":"2020-02-06T11:11:56","date_gmt":"2020-02-06T16:11:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1556"},"modified":"2020-02-06T11:11:56","modified_gmt":"2020-02-06T16:11:56","slug":"badtime-story","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1556","title":{"rendered":"Badtime Story"},"content":{"rendered":"

In what’s now become the wild wild west,<\/p>\n

there’s a bedtime story kids love best,<\/div>\n
about a family that ruled the land<\/div>\n
in what came to be a four year stand.<\/div>\n
The ruler’s name was Darn X Dump,<\/div>\n
known widely for his death fist bump.<\/div>\n
His model wife, named Melanoma,<\/div>\n
purchased at Williams Sonoma,<\/div>\n
sons named Airwick and Darn Too,<\/div>\n
Barren, raised inside a shoe,<\/div>\n
daughter Ipana, a looker,<\/div>\n
whom he treated like a hooker.<\/div>\n
One kid named Epiphany<\/div>\n
made no noise, she was thought-free.<\/div>\n
He’d cast off wives like used cars,<\/div>\n
spent his free time with porn stars.<\/div>\n
Some doubled down on hate. He tripled.<\/div>\n
Even made fun of the crippled.<\/div>\n
Came to power through his cheating,<\/div>\n
threatening, lying, then defeating.<\/div>\n
Made up nasty names for all.<\/div>\n
His motto was “It’s my ball.”<\/div>\n
Those who loved the sound of static<\/div>\n
seemed to find him charismatic.<\/div>\n
Finally, breaking all the rules,<\/div>\n
he’d amassed a land of fools.<\/div>\n
His next step was put up walls,<\/div>\n
kids in cages, he had balls.<\/div>\n
No one was beyond his reach.<\/div>\n
Whispers came, “impeach…impeach.”<\/div>\n
His concept of give-and-take:<\/div>\n
putting heads upon a stake.<\/div>\n
Ultimately got free reign,<\/div>\n
although quite clearly\u00a0 insane.<\/div>\n
Over all things he held sway.<\/div>\n
Sleep now, or he’ll come your way.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

In what’s now become the wild wild west, there’s a bedtime story kids love best, about a family that ruled the land in what came to be a four year stand. The ruler’s name was … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1556","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1734,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1734","url_meta":{"origin":1556,"position":0},"title":"What’s With Doc?","author":"Rick Young","date":"April 26, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Where has Doctor Fauci gone? This week he was off the lawn. Without him we have no voice, inject bleach our only choice ? Maybe he's in forced lockdown, caged and tied up by the clown. I don't think this thought\u00a0too often, but he'd fit in a small coffin. Tied\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2016,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2016","url_meta":{"origin":1556,"position":1},"title":"Red Tape","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 11, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"He didn't want a panic. He hates to see us manic. Just die and go in peace. Some day this thing will cease and go away like magic. Oh, sure, it was quite tragic. As long\u00a0as stocks do not decline, everything will be just fine. New rising employment\u00a0figures, boosted by\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":390,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=390","url_meta":{"origin":1556,"position":2},"title":"Baseball Birthdays: April nineteenth","author":"Rick Young","date":"April 19, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"Bucky Walters pitched the Reds to series victory. In thirty-nine, he was sublime, the N.L. MVP. Harry Craft played until service called in forty-two. Became first manager of Colts and, later, Astros, too. Rick Miller broke in with the Sox and then came back again. But center field was given\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1894,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1894","url_meta":{"origin":1556,"position":3},"title":"More News Bleaks","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 15, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"T is still damned steaming mad about his tax returns. Says he will release them all when San Francisco burns. Colonel Vindman calls it quits and cites intimidation. You don't lie, he blinds your eye. It's part of the equation. Jeff Sessions don't learn lessons. Now he's lost his primary.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1689,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1689","url_meta":{"origin":1556,"position":4},"title":"Lone Ranger Guilt","author":"Rick Young","date":"April 4, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Lone Ranger wore a black face mask and had a native slave. He had a horse named Silver and he never missed a shave. But Clayton Moore was quite a bore and wore masks after quitting. You're not the Ranger any more, they said. He said, You're shitting. Tonto'd\u00a0back\u00a0to Silverheels,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":823,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=823","url_meta":{"origin":1556,"position":5},"title":"Mother of Millions","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 30, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"She breeds like centipedes. She feeds. She needs. She bleeds. The suffering mother of millions aims high, perhaps even quadrillions. Her womb is a room to so many, it once earned a line from Jack Benny. Her milk, if collected in jars, would reach half the distance to Mars. She\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1556"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1557,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1556\/revisions\/1557"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1556"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1556"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1556"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}