{"id":1591,"date":"2020-02-20T20:58:43","date_gmt":"2020-02-21T01:58:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1591"},"modified":"2020-02-20T20:58:43","modified_gmt":"2020-02-21T01:58:43","slug":"garden-of-the-fini-contendees","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1591","title":{"rendered":"Garden of the Fini Contendees"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Some nutcase in Nevada&#8217;s gluing MAGA hats on pigeons.<\/p>\n<div>Next year this might be basis for many new religions.<\/div>\n<div>Please, Bernie, Liz, Pete, Amy, Joe, agree on a consensus.<\/div>\n<div>Or people caught not wearing hats might be encaged by fences.<\/div>\n<div>Get the glue and whips out, too, dissenters locked in stocks.<\/div>\n<div>While the barker tweets their shame from inside his gold box.<\/div>\n<div>They had their chance to do his dance and entertain his court.<\/div>\n<div>Now they will be apprentices in his new deadly sport.<\/div>\n<div>Someone who bleeds, gets on his knees, and begs might get a pardon.<\/div>\n<div>More likely still, he&#8217;ll be roadkill beneath the White House garden.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Some nutcase in Nevada&#8217;s gluing MAGA hats on pigeons. Next year this might be basis for many new religions. Please, Bernie, Liz, Pete, Amy, Joe, agree on a consensus. Or people caught not wearing hats &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1591\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1591","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":777,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=777","url_meta":{"origin":1591,"position":0},"title":"Red Hat","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 10, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Suddenly, everyone was wearing red hats. Those that didn't were vilified, even pushed around. Beneath their crimson brims they screamed of country. People without proper hats were scared to go outside. They had to sneak around at night, keep out of sight, risking harm in their own neighborhoods. Some preferred\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1309,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1309","url_meta":{"origin":1591,"position":1},"title":"Smirky Jerky","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 25, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Catholic boys in MAGA hats, bothersome as swarming gnats. Worse, in fact, 'cause they're much louder. Couldn't make their parents prouder. White boys smirking, taunting, yelling. Border walls is what they're selling. Theirs is an exclusive school, contoured to the rich and cruel. They think that they own the land.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":680,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=680","url_meta":{"origin":1591,"position":2},"title":"Groundhog Daze","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 2, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The groundhog sees his shadow and we're all for six weeks doomed. Whose idea was it to have this poor beast exhumed? There must be other rodents on whom we could pin our luck, something not quite so skittish as the underground woodchuck. Perhaps we'd be much better off in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":760,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=760","url_meta":{"origin":1591,"position":3},"title":"Quack Up","author":"Rick Young","date":"October 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Elmer and Daffy were acting up again, and, as always, sporting firearms. They were at a rally in the 'deep' south, a sea of bright red hats and dull pink faces. Alcohol had made their speech incomprehensible. Daffy: \"Sufferin' suckers' tax.\" Elmer: \"Kill da wabbit!\" (Roe v. Wade) Many tee\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1506,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1506","url_meta":{"origin":1591,"position":4},"title":"News of the Day 1\/18\/20","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 18, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"In Vegas birds wear cowboy hats. Or so it says in chat room chats. A Wiggles singer collapsed on stage. Rejecting\u00a0royalty's all the rage. Airplane fuel's been dumped on schools. Neo-nazis act like fools. Philippine\u00a0volcano blew. Evidence shows Nunez knew. Flash floods mock the Aussie fires. Yang gives money, has\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;List&quot;","block_context":{"text":"List","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=32"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2718,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2718","url_meta":{"origin":1591,"position":5},"title":"Rat Tales","author":"Rick Young","date":"August 8, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"A church full of rats in elegant hats were ready to pray to their lord. The high priest of vermin always gave his sermon from inside a hollowed-out gourd. They sang of great scraps and afternoon naps and filled every one of the pews. The high priest did squeak, with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1591","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1591"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1591\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1592,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1591\/revisions\/1592"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1591"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1591"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1591"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}