{"id":1641,"date":"2020-03-10T16:55:06","date_gmt":"2020-03-10T20:55:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1641"},"modified":"2020-03-10T16:55:06","modified_gmt":"2020-03-10T20:55:06","slug":"rocky-road-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1641","title":{"rendered":"Rocky Road"},"content":{"rendered":"

The president will challenge this new virus.<\/p>\n

They say he’s got more balls than Miley Cyrus.<\/div>\n
He’s hanging out with men who’ve been exposed.<\/div>\n
“It can’t touch me,” he claims, and case is closed.<\/div>\n
He doesn’t drink Corona, so he thinks he is immune.<\/div>\n
He’ll grab that virus, tie it up, pow, zoom, up to the moon.<\/div>\n
He’s like a super hero\u00a0who has not a shred of power.<\/div>\n
He wears an orange mask that washes right off in the shower.<\/div>\n
But he will climb into the ring with dread COVID-19.<\/div>\n
“I like a virus old enough to vote. Know what I mean?”<\/div>\n
If he is knocked out in the tenth just like Rocky Balboa,<\/div>\n
he’ll quarantine at Bloomberg’s scene, American Samoa.<\/div>\n
And as the virus tours our country, proud to be the champ,<\/div>\n
he’ll sit in sweats with Playboy pets. “Please wipe my face, I’m damp.”<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

The president will challenge this new virus. They say he’s got more balls than Miley Cyrus. He’s hanging out with men who’ve been exposed. “It can’t touch me,” he claims, and case is closed. He doesn’t drink Corona, so he thinks he is immune. He’ll grab that virus, tie it up, pow, zoom, up to […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1641","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1922,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1922","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":0},"title":"Lawn Darts","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"O, welcome back, corona virus\u00a0briefing, where T can practice all his oral queefing. He'll say again that it will disappear. And to each question, he'll turn a blind ear. He'll say again tests make the numbers rise, just like a second-grader in disguise. When queried if he now will wear\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1628,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1628","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":1},"title":"Blues Gone Viral","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 6, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Trump has a hunch about the virus spread. The sick aren't really sick and the dead are playing dead. It's all a Democratic trick to get inside his head. They\u00a0can't do that, he says, because he's had it lined with lead. They're pumping up the numbers to impair his sure\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Song"","block_context":{"text":"Song","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1535,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1535","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":2},"title":"His Due","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Satan sleeps down by my feet. I think he likes the smell. When not awake, he's pretty sweet. But roused, he's really hell. Get up and sin, get up and kill, he'll shout throughout the house. I tell him to shut up and chill. I couldn't hurt a mouse. At\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1648,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1648","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":3},"title":"Mayday Pray Day","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 15, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"It's a national day of prayer, declared by King Fuckwad. But the virus doesn't\u00a0care. It can't be killed by god. While we're on our knees, praying to a vapor, and trying not to sneeze, we\u00a0still need toilet paper. And as we ask for spirit help to keep us from the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1575,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1575","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":4},"title":"A Dark Hallmark","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Shout out to our heartless king on this valentine's day, hunkered in his office cutting programs for the poor, blowing up old monuments that stand in his wall's way, insulting all his minions and dominions, to be sure. The march of broken bodies he's imagined in his head will soothe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1605,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1605","url_meta":{"origin":1641,"position":5},"title":"Namaste There, Please","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The country seems so quiet, what with Air Force One away. A peacefulness has settled in. He's been gone but a day. So Bernie's free to pad his lead, contenders on their trails. It seems it's what the nation needs, a break from their travails. He's on the other side\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1641"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1642,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1641\/revisions\/1642"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1641"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1641"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1641"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}