{"id":1648,"date":"2020-03-15T13:21:16","date_gmt":"2020-03-15T17:21:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1648"},"modified":"2020-03-15T13:21:16","modified_gmt":"2020-03-15T17:21:16","slug":"mayday-pray-day","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1648","title":{"rendered":"Mayday Pray Day"},"content":{"rendered":"

It’s a national day of prayer,<\/p>\n

declared by King Fuckwad.<\/div>\n
But the virus doesn’t\u00a0care.<\/div>\n
It can’t be killed by god.<\/div>\n
While we’re on our knees,<\/div>\n
praying to a vapor,<\/div>\n
and trying not to sneeze,<\/div>\n
we\u00a0still need toilet paper.<\/div>\n
And as we ask for spirit help<\/div>\n
to keep us from the dead,<\/div>\n
we’d be better off on Yelp,<\/div>\n
looking to buy bread.<\/div>\n
Pray to Yahwe.\u00a0Pray to Christ.<\/div>\n
Beg the Lord of Karma.<\/div>\n
Pray a vaccine is low-priced<\/div>\n
by the gods of pharma.<\/div>\n
Pray for rapture. Pray for rain.<\/div>\n
Keep your social distance.<\/div>\n
Pray that you don’t die in pain.<\/div>\n
At the king’s insistence.<\/div>\n
All your praying may distract<\/div>\n
from just who is at fault,<\/div>\n
King Fuckwad, who was slow to act,<\/div>\n
sealed in his germ-free vault.<\/div>\n
Pray, pray, he’ll say, from your t.v.,<\/div>\n
the lord will surely listen.<\/div>\n
But in our sick reality,<\/div>\n
it’s certain god is missin’.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

It’s a national day of prayer, declared by King Fuckwad. But the virus doesn’t\u00a0care. It can’t be killed by god. While we’re on our knees, praying to a vapor, and trying not to sneeze, we\u00a0still … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1648","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1409,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1409","url_meta":{"origin":1648,"position":0},"title":"Why We Care for Baudelaire","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 11, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Pray to Poe for stimulus. Pray to God for apathy. Well wishers and strap holders insinuate in blankness, attack in sleep's deep hold the webs of forlorn conscience, the broken bridges of neglect. Cross the heartland. Hope to diet. Ring lords' relentless retaliation have furrowed the maps of history and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1780,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1780","url_meta":{"origin":1648,"position":1},"title":"Let US Prey","author":"Rick Young","date":"May 24, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Lord, bless the germs within this pew, and hope that casualties are few. This virus makes the pious wary. Who knew hymns could be so scary. Because the wafer stock is thin, the hosts's hydroxychloroquine. And there's a substitute for wine, bleach or something alkaline. Congregation lambs to slaughter. Wash\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2412,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2412","url_meta":{"origin":1648,"position":2},"title":"Maow and Duster","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 27, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"The cats are on the roam inside their kitty dome, with bed, bored, string and boxes they create their self-styled home, where outside view's\u00a0essential and proximity to heat. When they think residential, everything outside is meat. Their habits must define their day. Of course they need their sleep. They check\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":653,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=653","url_meta":{"origin":1648,"position":3},"title":"Everlasting Fast","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 9, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Good morning. Your church is toast. Your religion is jelly. Your salvation is scrambled. And still you pray for coffee.","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2718,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2718","url_meta":{"origin":1648,"position":4},"title":"Rat Tales","author":"Rick Young","date":"August 8, 2022","format":false,"excerpt":"A church full of rats in elegant hats were ready to pray to their lord. The high priest of vermin always gave his sermon from inside a hollowed-out gourd. They sang of great scraps and afternoon naps and filled every one of the pews. The high priest did squeak, with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":590,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=590","url_meta":{"origin":1648,"position":5},"title":"Inbred and Buttered","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 16, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"All the townsfolk who pray to the lion and lamb have decided that justice is rarely well done. All the saints ate the sinners, served up in a jam. Now the sisters of mustard all carry a gun. And the banks have closed down. And the schools are encampments, as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1648","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1648"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1648\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1649,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1648\/revisions\/1649"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1648"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1648"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1648"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}