{"id":1729,"date":"2020-04-23T14:21:36","date_gmt":"2020-04-23T18:21:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1729"},"modified":"2020-04-23T14:21:36","modified_gmt":"2020-04-23T18:21:36","slug":"cashing-in-your-checks","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1729","title":{"rendered":"Cashing In Your Checks"},"content":{"rendered":"

Go ahead and bet your stimulus check.<\/p>\n

A grand just will not do it, so go crazy,<\/div>\n
what the heck.<\/div>\n
However, there’s no horses racing.<\/div>\n
Blame the social distance spacing.<\/div>\n
Baseball, even football, might be gone.<\/div>\n
Pubs are closed, so there’s no darts.<\/div>\n
Bookmakers have closed their charts.<\/div>\n
Maybe bet on Jarts out on the lawn?<\/div>\n
There must be a worldwide pool based on the over\/under.<\/div>\n
Things get sick, and really quick when everything’s asunder.<\/div>\n
But these statistics won’t resolve until the plague has passed.<\/div>\n
And, by that time, the best bet is your check’s not\u00a0gonna last.<\/div>\n
So, go and spend your money on some other stimuli.<\/div>\n
Go down to the corner, see the guy who knows a guy.<\/div>\n
Buy two dozen blackbirds, maybe, bake ’em in a pie.<\/div>\n
Bet the wad with god on all the teardrops that you’ll cry.<\/div>\n
The check is not a bolster or a perk.<\/div>\n
It’s just another joke that doesn’t work.<\/div>\n
Try licking off the signature to see if you’ll get high.<\/div>\n
Worst thing that could happen, you’ll choke on his name and die.<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Go ahead and bet your stimulus check. A grand just will not do it, so go crazy, what the heck. However, there’s no horses racing. Blame the social distance spacing. Baseball, even football, might be … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[34],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1729","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-story"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1709,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1709","url_meta":{"origin":1729,"position":0},"title":"Stimulus Check","author":"Rick Young","date":"April 15, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"I need to check my stimuli. Nothing I've seen caught my eye, His daily brief will get me seething, elevate my measured breathing. How he rolls their questions under, facts and logic hacks asunder. Cup of truth in seas of lies. How he rolls his white-rimmed eyes. Stands as if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1403,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1403","url_meta":{"origin":1729,"position":1},"title":"We Golden","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 9, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Fifty years of marriage is like sixty years in jail. There's some time off for good behavior and love is the bail. There were times came close to crimes and some I don't remember. But we shared a half century, new years to December. Romance hits its warranty somewhere down\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":598,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=598","url_meta":{"origin":1729,"position":2},"title":"Afterlife Duets","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 23, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"McQueens are walking, hand-in-hand, Steve and Butterfly. Funny how celebrities pair up after they die. There's the Powells, handsome couple, Dick and Adam Clayton. And the Taylors, Liz and Robert: didn't know they're datin'. Lovely Leigh gals, Viv and Janet, always taking showers. Lyndon Johnson loves to walk with Van\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":998,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=998","url_meta":{"origin":1729,"position":3},"title":"dedication to hydration","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 4, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"when i'm watered i feel like a flower i even drink when i am in the shower two cups of H2O in every hour i'm like a steamboat runnin' paddle power i've got a gallon challenge on a bet i drink more water than a household pet i'm just not\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":868,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=868","url_meta":{"origin":1729,"position":4},"title":"Eagle Eyepatch","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 18, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"An arcade in the wilderness has plunged our eagle into debt. He thought he'd rule the wildlife pool. But that was one bad bet. His chips were down on common ground. His talons lost their grip. He flew too high and from grey sky he spied a sinking ship. With\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1762,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1762","url_meta":{"origin":1729,"position":5},"title":"He Keeps a Crippling Neuron Blaster as a Pet","author":"Rick Young","date":"May 15, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"It's hurricane season and things could get pretty wet. The felt tip forecaster pronounced Kansas a good bet. It's hit the beaches season and soon they'll be overrun. Despite the social warnings, some will, sadly, become chum. It's sharks amongst us season and, so, when you see a fin, swim\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1729","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1729"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1729\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1730,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1729\/revisions\/1730"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1729"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1729"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1729"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}