I saw Satan at my polling place.
\nHe had horns and all,
\nbut he had Jared’s face.
\nWearing a nice suit,
\nhe looked quite tall and pale.
\nBut, looking down beneath his cuffs,
\nI know I saw some tail.
\nAnd when I went to vote,
\nhe quickly stepped right up to me,
\nsaid, “How ’bout a vacation
\nin the lovely heat for free?”
\nAll I had to do was vote
\nagainst all of the Dems,
\nand I could see the fire flowers’
\never-burning stems,
\nswim the sizzling lake
\nand learn to walk on burning coals.
\nBut I don’t think the devil
\nshould be allowed at the polls.
\nSo I said, “No thanks, Satan,”
\nand I stepped behind the curtain.
\nHe was screaming he would
\nmake my soul explode for certain.
\nI exited, expecting to see
\nmany things I feared.
\nTo my relief, there was no grief.
\nJared had disappeared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I saw Satan at my polling place. He had horns and all, but he had Jared’s face. Wearing a nice suit, he looked quite tall and pale. But, looking down beneath his cuffs, I know I saw some tail. And when I went to vote, he quickly stepped right up to me, said, “How ’bout […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2258","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":736,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=736","url_meta":{"origin":2258,"position":0},"title":"The Ballot of Boot Hell","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 7, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"The modern world creaks to a halt. The sun, frozen, leans toward darkness. Apocalypse, now a presumption, a former abstraction, demands a reaction, and the people must vote it down. Across the oceans, our enemies amass. They must be placed in words and categories. Survival is dependent on proper identification.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2220,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2220","url_meta":{"origin":2258,"position":1},"title":"Gory Story","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 12, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Today we learned of RINO's and dead dogs at the polls. Apparently all zombies weren't removed from voter rolls. A dog did vote beside me. He'd a coat of rusty red. I saw him vote straight Dem but didn't know that he was dead. And what about that chicken who\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1535,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1535","url_meta":{"origin":2258,"position":2},"title":"His Due","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Satan sleeps down by my feet. I think he likes the smell. When not awake, he's pretty sweet. But roused, he's really hell. Get up and sin, get up and kill, he'll shout throughout the house. I tell him to shut up and chill. I couldn't hurt a mouse. At\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":848,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=848","url_meta":{"origin":2258,"position":3},"title":"Bannon Canon","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 2, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Steve Bannon is the sludge in my liver. If bad was teardrops, he would be a river. Every time I think about his Breitbart News, I get a sudden bad attack of alt-right blues. Says he idolizes Satan, Vader and Dick Cheney. This is more than odd, dude, it's apocalyptic\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2206,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2206","url_meta":{"origin":2258,"position":4},"title":"Compilation Blues","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 5, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Arizona, I hope Diamondbacks next year will win it all. Nevada, may your gambling state long reign. As I watched in horror states turn red and drop the ball, I wondered at four more years spent in pain. Florida looked good at first, then came Miami Dade. Texas held some\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2007,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2007","url_meta":{"origin":2258,"position":5},"title":"Dick Tooter","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"If you want to be nice, you could vote for me twice while I work out my kill-the-mail scheme. I'm the nightmare the hippies saw coming, the anti-Amerikan dream. I'll blow up all racial pretensions and continue to subvert the law. With my planeload of dark thugs inventions, I can\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Song"","block_context":{"text":"Song","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=30"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2258","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2258"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2258\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2275,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2258\/revisions\/2275"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2258"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2258"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2258"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}