I saw Satan at my polling place.
\nHe had horns and all,
\nbut he had Jared’s face.
\nWearing a nice suit,
\nhe looked quite tall and pale.
\nBut, looking down beneath his cuffs,
\nI know I saw some tail.
\nAnd when I went to vote,
\nhe quickly stepped right up to me,
\nsaid, “How ’bout a vacation
\nin the lovely heat for free?”
\nAll I had to do was vote
\nagainst all of the Dems,
\nand I could see the fire flowers’
\never-burning stems,
\nswim the sizzling lake
\nand learn to walk on burning coals.
\nBut I don’t think the devil
\nshould be allowed at the polls.
\nSo I said, “No thanks, Satan,”
\nand I stepped behind the curtain.
\nHe was screaming he would
\nmake my soul explode for certain.
\nI exited, expecting to see
\nmany things I feared.
\nTo my relief, there was no grief.
\nJared had disappeared.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"