Come on down to Buy A Pardon.
\nIt’s paradise without the garden.
\nIt’s Eden with a lot more snakes.
\nIt’s where big bucks buy bigger breaks.
\nNo matter what your\u00a0lowdown ways,
\nwe’ll have you out in thirty days.
\nNo matter if you’re friend to me.
\nYou don’t get out of jail for free.
\nWe call the payments campaign contributions.
\nYou have a problem and we have solutions.
\nIf you kill a protester down on Fifth Avenue.
\nWorry not, you big hot shot, we’ve got an out for you.
\nAssassinate a nuclear scientist in Iran?
\nNo problem, buy a pardon, hide your life out in Japan.
\nOur closeout and holiday sales are sure to be a hit.
\nAmazing how a lot of green can get you out of shit.
\nRemember, buy your pardon before we get out the door.
\nOtherwise you’ll have to wait ’til twenty-twenty-four.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Come on down to Buy A Pardon. It’s paradise without the garden. It’s Eden with a lot more snakes. It’s where big bucks buy bigger breaks. No matter what your\u00a0lowdown ways, we’ll have you out in thirty days. No matter if you’re friend to me. You don’t get out of jail for free. We call […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2280","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":2302,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2302","url_meta":{"origin":2280,"position":0},"title":"Garden Party","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Come get your pardon, available down at the Rose Garden, redecorated, because the other way my wife hated. Your pardon costs less than did changing this mess. It's not just us. We've got expenses. And then again there's also the two Pences. Here I am, fighting off libels. All they\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2263,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2263","url_meta":{"origin":2280,"position":1},"title":"Pardon My Swamp","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 25, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Trump's pardon of Flynn today followed the pardon of a turkey. They say the next one up in line's the Notorious\u00a0Beef\u00a0Jerky. Then liberate some KFC, and Popeye's\u00a0chicken, Ooh-ooh-wee. Then let's get donuts out of jail and pay Ronald MacDonald's bail. We'll spring the Hardee's\/Arby's gang, and end the pardons with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":122,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=122","url_meta":{"origin":2280,"position":2},"title":"Charm School Bully","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 19, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"He slapped the smile off the face of the etiquette boy. And batted his batting eyelashes. His \"Pardon me, sir\" was more like a slur and always resulted in clashes. He even learned how executing a bow could be used as a martial attack. And God help you, son, and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Bully.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Bully.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Bully.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Bully.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1587,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1587","url_meta":{"origin":2280,"position":3},"title":"Commutation Proclamation","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 19, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"It looks like this is pardon day for crooks across the USA. Racketeers and junk bond dealers now can make their getaway. All Trump's friends convicted of fraud, bribery, corruption, get out of jail free now, sorry for the interruption. Michael Milken, Bernard Kerik and Eddie DeBartolo, free to go\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1591,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1591","url_meta":{"origin":2280,"position":4},"title":"Garden of the Fini Contendees","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 20, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Some nutcase in Nevada's gluing MAGA hats on pigeons. Next year this might be basis for many new religions. Please, Bernie, Liz, Pete, Amy, Joe, agree on a consensus. Or people caught not wearing hats might be encaged by fences. Get the glue and whips out, too, dissenters locked in\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2313,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2313","url_meta":{"origin":2280,"position":5},"title":"Coup Day Ta Ta","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 5, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Trump is in his bunker, not the one in Mar-a-Lago. He wants to turn the D.C. streets to '68 Chicago. He doesn't have a cruel J.Edgar Hoover by his side. He lost that when Bill Barr said 'that's enough,' and went to hide. His posse has been culled to the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2280","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2280"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2280\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2367,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2280\/revisions\/2367"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2280"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2280"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2280"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}