How dark will be our Archie’s skin?
\nAnd will the royals let him in?
\nWe should have changed his name, they said.
\nBut who calls their own child “Jughead”?
\nThey cried about my baby bump.
\nThey bought a chocolate milk breast pump.
\nThey stood there ready with a sack,
\nin case the babe was born “too black.”
\nThey don’t like “darkies” in the castle.
\nEven the help is a hassle.
\nGrandpa Chuck won’t give two fucks.
\nHis late wife’s kid really sucks.
\nAlways fighting with the press,
\nred heads surely are a mess.
\nSomehow, it’s Diana’s fault.
\nCurse her bones! (They’re in our vault).
\nPerhaps they’ll pull a Michael J
\nand try to bleach his tan away.
\nThat’s why we had to leave the isle.
\nThe whole affair was one shit pile.
\nThe U.S. will let Archie\u00a0be.
\nHe’ll get his own show on t.v.
\nHe’ll rail about his royal blood.
\nHe’ll call his grandpa Charles a “dud.”
\n“You killed my grandma on t.v.,
\nbut you will never get to me!
\nCamilla is a mean old bitch.
\nIt figures you’d prefer a witch!”
\nThe Queen is just a foppish slag.
\nThe Buckinghams “Kind of a Drag.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"