{"id":2586,"date":"2021-10-19T16:15:36","date_gmt":"2021-10-19T20:15:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2586"},"modified":"2021-10-19T16:15:36","modified_gmt":"2021-10-19T20:15:36","slug":"so-over-par","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2586","title":{"rendered":"So Over Par"},"content":{"rendered":"
Each birthday after seventy’s<\/div>\n
like going over par.<\/div>\n
The putts you dropped now roll aside.<\/div>\n
Your drive does not go far.<\/div>\n
The layups that were breakaways<\/div>\n
since days when you were small<\/div>\n
are now chased down by faster men.<\/div>\n
You often eat the ball.<\/div>\n
The hanging dinger you just hit<\/div>\n
dies on the warning track.<\/div>\n
You know you need some sit-ups,<\/div>\n
but they always hurt your back.<\/div>\n
A well-paced walk around the block<\/div>\n
would surely do you good.<\/div>\n
But your aching legs now creak<\/div>\n
as if they’re made of wood.<\/div>\n
Your life is on the champs tour now.<\/div>\n
You\u00a0play from shorter tees.<\/div>\n
Nine holes instead of eighteen<\/div>\n
will go easy on your knees.<\/div>\n
And if you do at this age<\/div>\n
entertain\u00a0a sporting jag,<\/div>\n
please, please, say no to football.<\/div>\n
That’s the time for your white flag.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Each birthday after seventy’s like going over par. The putts you dropped now roll aside. Your drive does not go far. The layups that were breakaways since days when you were small are now chased … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2586","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":119,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=119","url_meta":{"origin":2586,"position":0},"title":"Metaphoric Nose Job","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 18, 2013","format":false,"excerpt":"In breaking the bone of the beak, so to speak, we're changing the shape of a life in a week. Unwrapping the bandages, please take a peek, and if you don't like what you see, please don't shriek. O, the nose makes the face by its size and its grace.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Metaphoric.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Metaphoric.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Metaphoric.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/11\/Metaphoric.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":2071,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2071","url_meta":{"origin":2586,"position":1},"title":"Fetus Force","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 29, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"The government wants your uterus. Please mail it in a plain brown\u00a0package to Fetus Force, A.C.B. div. \/SCOTUS9. It will be reprogrammed, micro-chipped, patriotically decorated and returned with proper child-bearing instructions. A list of government-approved names and occupation choices will be included. Fetus Force trackers will trace slackers and offer\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":853,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=853","url_meta":{"origin":2586,"position":2},"title":"Simply Madness","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 4, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"The Indians will pay for the pipeline. Cleveland is, of course, possessed by gangs. Bomb the glaciers and tax the water. Please pull to the curb and be searched. Mexico will pay for the Alamo. Bowie will not have died in vain. Drill until it hurts and stop the trees.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1829,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1829","url_meta":{"origin":2586,"position":3},"title":"Grunt Style","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Just saw an ad for \"grunt style\" clothes. They'll push the army up our nose. It's bad enough troops in our streets, and they're not there for meet-and-greets, but now we have to wear their duds, and flounce around like Elmer Fudds? There's little charm in army fashions, 'bout as\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Story"","block_context":{"text":"Story","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=34"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":794,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=794","url_meta":{"origin":2586,"position":4},"title":"Bypass","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 15, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Ten years ago today, my heart went on a short vacation. It called me in my dream state from a pay phone at a station. \"I'm sitting just outside your chest. It's really quite a view. Don't worry, get yourself some rest, I'll be back in a few. Amazing how\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":809,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=809","url_meta":{"origin":2586,"position":5},"title":"He’s Makin’ A List","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 23, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Oh Santa, please bring me some nukes for Christmas. Just leave some megatons beneath my tree. My Russian pen pal asked you for the same thing. And I don't want him to have more than me. The game we play is mutual destruction. And I don't know, dear Santa, if\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2586","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2586"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2586\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2587,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2586\/revisions\/2587"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2586"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2586"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2586"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}