They cracked my ribs, took out my heart,
\nprobably the hardest part.
\nTook some veins out of my calf.
\nThat tickled and made me laugh.
\nWhile I was laying on my back,
\nthey used my heart like a hacky sack.
\nIn my chest, they tapped my lungs,
\nplaying them like bongo drums.
\nBlood was flowing like a river.
\nSomeone yelled, “Take out his liver!”
\nGood thing I was under gas,
\nwould have kicked some doctor ass.
\nThen they put the heart back in,
\npassed around a fifth of gin,
\ntied my ribs and sewed my chest.
\nThey had done their very best.
\nLast thing I heard was their hollers,
\n“That’ll be two million dollars!”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"