{"id":542,"date":"2015-01-22T09:37:58","date_gmt":"2015-01-22T14:37:58","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=542"},"modified":"2015-01-22T09:37:58","modified_gmt":"2015-01-22T14:37:58","slug":"whaling-walrus","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=542","title":{"rendered":"Whaling Walrus"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>There was a walrus<br \/>\nused to hang with whales.<br \/>\nHis bonding efforts<br \/>\nall were epic fails.<br \/>\nHe had no blubber<br \/>\nnor blow hole.<br \/>\nHe didn&#8217;t have<br \/>\na whaling soul.<br \/>\nHis tusks, they said,<br \/>\nwere too damned long.<br \/>\nHe couldn&#8217;t sing<br \/>\nthe whaling song.<br \/>\nHis body couldn&#8217;t glide<br \/>\nthroughout the water.<br \/>\nThey shunned him<br \/>\nand he said, Okay,<br \/>\ngo on about<br \/>\nyour humpback way.<br \/>\nI&#8217;ll miss your krill,<br \/>\nbut I won&#8217;t miss<br \/>\nyour slaughter.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>There was a walrus used to hang with whales. His bonding efforts all were epic fails. He had no blubber nor blow hole. He didn&#8217;t have a whaling soul. His tusks, they said, were too damned long. He couldn&#8217;t sing the whaling song. His body couldn&#8217;t glide throughout the water. They shunned him and he [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[16],"tags":[3,4],"class_list":["post-542","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2","tag-poem","tag-poetry-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":302,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=302","url_meta":{"origin":542,"position":0},"title":"Keeks (1994-2014)","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 19, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"The cat has used up all her lives. And leaves us with tears in our eyes. Bequeathed soft memories of fur. We'll miss her knead. We'll miss her purr.","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/keek1994.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/keek1994.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/keek1994.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/keek1994.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":927,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=927","url_meta":{"origin":542,"position":1},"title":"Broken Crown","author":"Rick Young","date":"August 16, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Jack and Jill went out for supper at their favorite diner. Jill was wearing her best dress and couldn't look much finer. Jack drank two large Bloody Marys along with his meal. But Jill abstained; she didn't like the way booze made her feel. With her food gone, Jill slid\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2293,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2293","url_meta":{"origin":542,"position":2},"title":"Barr Tab","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 15, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Billy, Barr the door. He'll be A.G no more. Word is that on Christmas eve, this sly sycophant will leave. It is said he lost Don's favor when the big hoax didn't savor. The fraud that Bill couldn't find made poor Donnie lose his mind. As it was all just\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":678,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=678","url_meta":{"origin":542,"position":3},"title":"Miss Informed","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 31, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"I knew a woman who got things all wrong. She'd quote a poem, say it was a song. She'd call a gong a bell, a bell a gong. She'd go on much too much and much too long. She'd call a club a spade and diamond heart. She thought that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":287,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=287","url_meta":{"origin":542,"position":4},"title":"Organ Solo","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 13, 2014","format":false,"excerpt":"What we found was a heart on the ground outside the organ store. Appallingly pink, but emitting no stink, it was squishy but firm, and beating no more. It didn't look broken or aching or frozen. It didn't look restless or cheatin' or blue. We poked some inside it, but\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Heart.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Heart.jpg?resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Heart.jpg?resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/redtinnoodles.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/01\/Heart.jpg?resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":596,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=596","url_meta":{"origin":542,"position":5},"title":"Oasis Stasis","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 21, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"The message in a bottle flowed like flood tide down my throat. I felt as if I'd lost an oar but didn't have a boat. I couldn't see the shining sea from this far on dry land. But several more damp messages might make me feel some sand. On second\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=542"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/542\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=542"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=542"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=542"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}