{"id":544,"date":"2015-01-24T09:21:48","date_gmt":"2015-01-24T14:21:48","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=544"},"modified":"2015-01-24T09:21:48","modified_gmt":"2015-01-24T14:21:48","slug":"preordained-snuffling","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=544","title":{"rendered":"Preordained Snuffling"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>If it was God invented mucus for our sinus cavities,<br \/>\nHe&#8217;d be the damned George Lucas of headspace depravities.<br \/>\nNasal canals fill up with liquid that turns into rock,<br \/>\nthen melts again and squirms like squid and dribbles down one&#8217;s frock.<br \/>\nThank doctors for their decongestants, drying up face tunnels.<br \/>\nWithout them we&#8217;d be like contestants, racing to fill funnels.<br \/>\nIf God invented sinus drip, it had to be a crock.<br \/>\nNo maker would be quite so flip lest He owned Kleenex stock.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>If it was God invented mucus for our sinus cavities, He&#8217;d be the damned George Lucas of headspace depravities. Nasal canals fill up with liquid that turns into rock, then melts again and squirms like &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=544\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[3,27],"class_list":["post-544","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2","tag-poem","tag-poetrystatus-publish"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":620,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=620","url_meta":{"origin":544,"position":0},"title":"Adamant Eve","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Eve was teed off at her guy. He said he wanted apple pie. She was extremely discontented. Fire wasn't yet invented. Adam said they could adjust, maybe use some leaves for crust. Eve said no way she would bake. \"Why can't we just eat some snake?\"","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":571,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=571","url_meta":{"origin":544,"position":1},"title":"Bagpipe Fossils","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 17, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Dad was not kilt in the war. Scotch tape and fine whiskey. Brigadoon was just a bore. Highlands are quite risky. Play on, bagpipe, play, with your wail and whine. I'm a Scot and to this day, I'm drunk but I'm fine. We're the ones invented golf. And we do\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2608,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2608","url_meta":{"origin":544,"position":2},"title":"Tommy and Helen","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 29, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"For a deaf, dumb and blind boy to master a pinball game is nowhere near the effort it took for a young girl in the same circumstances to learn language from scratch. Not only did she become a prolific author, an activist and a disability rights advocate (*the three A's),\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":843,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=843","url_meta":{"origin":544,"position":3},"title":"Lunar Tick","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 28, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"The year of the rooster could be like a rocket booster, a launch into the perilous unknown. What with the selection of a crude orange erection, we've lifted off into the twilight zone. A strutting bandy tweeting unto dawn with billionaires surrounding him to fawn could turn this lunar year\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":755,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=755","url_meta":{"origin":544,"position":4},"title":"Vermicelli Botticelli","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 5, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Put the needle on the noodle. Listen to the pasta play. It's the whole kit and caboodle. There is nothing more to say. Get some penne and some paper. Fill the tubes with marinara. Writing this way is a caper. Sign your work 'Scarlet O'Hara.' Use spaghetti as a paintbrush.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":511,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=511","url_meta":{"origin":544,"position":5},"title":"Medicinal Weed","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 1, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Put me on a government list. Gotta get me some of this. I got problems medical. Need some prophethetical Gotta smoke to get me well. Government can go to hell. Give my name to Uncle Sam. Give me meds and let me jam. Get me to the clinic, stat. Doctor\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/544","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=544"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/544\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=544"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=544"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=544"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}