{"id":557,"date":"2015-02-06T10:01:33","date_gmt":"2015-02-06T15:01:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=557"},"modified":"2015-02-06T10:01:33","modified_gmt":"2015-02-06T15:01:33","slug":"felonious-monkey","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=557","title":{"rendered":"Felonious Monkey"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Who robbed the teddy of its sleep<br \/>\nby whispering of lions?<br \/>\nWho killed the poor electric charge<br \/>\nby stealing all its ions?<br \/>\nWho built a bridge across the fridge<br \/>\nand covered it with cream?<br \/>\nWho copped a night time attitude<br \/>\nthey passed off as a dream?<br \/>\nWho named his cur Poor Goodnight Sir<br \/>\nand numbered all the lambies?<br \/>\nWhy it&#8217;s the lad who&#8217;s only bad<br \/>\nwhen dressed in stolen jammies.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Who robbed the teddy of its sleep by whispering of lions? Who killed the poor electric charge by stealing all its ions? Who built a bridge across the fridge and covered it with cream? Who &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=557\">Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-557","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1575,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1575","url_meta":{"origin":557,"position":0},"title":"A Dark Hallmark","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Shout out to our heartless king on this valentine's day, hunkered in his office cutting programs for the poor, blowing up old monuments that stand in his wall's way, insulting all his minions and dominions, to be sure. The march of broken bodies he's imagined in his head will soothe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1609,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1609","url_meta":{"origin":557,"position":1},"title":"Quiet News Day","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 27, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"There's no talk in today's news about stealing elections, which, in turn, prompted this look into some news selections. The stock market is reeling after COVID-19 drop, while our great leader continues to spout his toilet sop. \"Must get better flushes, shower heads that clean my hair.\" And while the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1869,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1869","url_meta":{"origin":557,"position":2},"title":"Hoax IV","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 3, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"This is a hoax. There's no blood on my hands. This red you see...from the Red Sea sands. I tried to part it but it turned too antsy. That bastard Moses must have used something really fancy. For my next miracle, I'll give my best friends millions, while mailing out\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":713,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=713","url_meta":{"origin":557,"position":3},"title":"Trump Card","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Mitt just took a shit upon the Donald. Made him look more clownish than poor Ronald. The stormin' Mormon's dump made Drumpf look like a chump. In fact, the dude has been Rosie O'Donnelled!","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1039,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1039","url_meta":{"origin":557,"position":4},"title":"Franklin&#8217;s Urethra (1752)","author":"Rick Young","date":"December 26, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"The bespectacled one is out flying his kite, losing his house keys, adding some weight. Surely this storm will make the diary. Poor Richard is, of course, asleep early, dreaming of swimming the English Channel. While Franklin's urethra has been acting up ever since his strained militia stint. And these\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1396,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1396","url_meta":{"origin":557,"position":5},"title":"Whether Forecast","author":"Rick Young","date":"June 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Russia's orchestrating a new US civil war. And we are recreating Archie Bunker. On one side are gathering the immigrants and poor. On the hill the rich protectors hunker. There's screaming and crying all over the channels. The old and the cold are all pissing their flannels. There's armies that\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=557"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/557\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=557"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=557"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=557"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}