{"id":734,"date":"2016-07-02T22:40:31","date_gmt":"2016-07-03T02:40:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=734"},"modified":"2016-07-02T22:40:31","modified_gmt":"2016-07-03T02:40:31","slug":"anthropomorphic-banality","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=734","title":{"rendered":"Anthropomorphic Banality"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Ah, the cat speaks in riddles,<br \/>\negged on by the birds of summer.<br \/>\nHe screams for food some fifteen times a day.<br \/>\nHe counts the seven doors and sixteen windows,<br \/>\nlicking and scratching his numbers on them all.<br \/>\nHe suggests that this cage of a house should be<br \/>\ncleaned, expelling a hairball to make his point.<br \/>\nSuddenly he&#8217;ll spy a clean pant leg, and dash<br \/>\nhis paintbrush body up against the cloth.<br \/>\nThen he&#8217;ll moan he&#8217;s tired, jump into the nearest<br \/>\nchair, and promptly fall asleep.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Ah, the cat speaks in riddles, egged on by the birds of summer. He screams for food some fifteen times a day. He counts the seven doors and sixteen windows, licking and scratching his numbers on them all. He suggests that this cage of a house should be cleaned, expelling a hairball to make his [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-734","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1922,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1922","url_meta":{"origin":734,"position":0},"title":"Lawn Darts","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 21, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"O, welcome back, corona virus\u00a0briefing, where T can practice all his oral queefing. He'll say again that it will disappear. And to each question, he'll turn a blind ear. He'll say again tests make the numbers rise, just like a second-grader in disguise. When queried if he now will wear\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":691,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=691","url_meta":{"origin":734,"position":1},"title":"Governor Gumshoe","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 8, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"We need a sharp-edged ruler, who can spy upon us, too, a real protective leader, a Governor Gumshoe. He'll pound his dreaded gavel if we have too much fun. Then, if we don't settle down, he'll go and get his gun. He'll walk the streets at night time, eliminating crime,\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":941,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=941","url_meta":{"origin":734,"position":2},"title":"Tip Off Time","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"The cat loves to play with a Q-tip, a little baton he can flip and chew on. He'll hold with his claw and just gnaw and gnaw. He'll work on that thing 'til it looks like Don King, its head shaped to a point like a paintbrush or joint. He'll\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1575,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1575","url_meta":{"origin":734,"position":3},"title":"A Dark Hallmark","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 14, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Shout out to our heartless king on this valentine's day, hunkered in his office cutting programs for the poor, blowing up old monuments that stand in his wall's way, insulting all his minions and dominions, to be sure. The march of broken bodies he's imagined in his head will soothe\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poem&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2794,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2794","url_meta":{"origin":734,"position":4},"title":"Gold Coast","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 1, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Drumpie's moved to Florida, there's fewer taxes there. He leaves his tower in New York and much synthetic hair. He'll blend in with the old folks in a state of milk and honey. And he will find a thousand ways to rid them of their money. He'll wear his mirrored\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Poetry&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Poetry","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=2"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1535,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1535","url_meta":{"origin":734,"position":5},"title":"His Due","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 30, 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"Satan sleeps down by my feet. I think he likes the smell. When not awake, he's pretty sweet. But roused, he's really hell. Get up and sin, get up and kill, he'll shout throughout the house. I tell him to shut up and chill. I couldn't hurt a mouse. 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