{"id":751,"date":"2016-08-06T21:19:39","date_gmt":"2016-08-07T01:19:39","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=751"},"modified":"2016-08-06T21:19:39","modified_gmt":"2016-08-07T01:19:39","slug":"holy-cows","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=751","title":{"rendered":"Holy Cows"},"content":{"rendered":"

Embattled cattle graze and wander,
\nchew their cud all day.
\nRolling eyes, they sit and ponder,
\nsearching for the way.
\nHoly cow. Zen is now.
\nUdderly awake.
\nThis is bull. When they’re full.
\nthey’re turned into steak.
\nYou have killed our gods, McDonald.
\nYou have brought us down.
\nWe would just as soon go hungry,
\neven eat a clown.
\nYes our shoes are made from leather.
\nWe’re no purists, but,
\nwe would rather dine on heather
\nthan put cow in gut.
\nWe reject your quarter-pounder.
\nWe abhor big macs.
\nBlame goes back to Kroc the founder
\nfor these cow attacks.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Embattled cattle graze and wander, chew their cud all day. Rolling eyes, they sit and ponder, searching for the way. Holy cow. Zen is now. Udderly awake. This is bull. When they’re full. they’re turned … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[3,4],"class_list":["post-751","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-song","tag-poem","tag-poetry-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":881,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=881","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":0},"title":"Indy Cow (for Max)","author":"Rick Young","date":"April 10, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"I knew a cow whose fur was made of sparks. Because of this, he found that he'd been banned from many parks. He longed to get into Comiskey. But secret service found him frisky. So, on his birthday, he drank whiskey. And later tried to buy some weed from narcs.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2477,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2477","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":1},"title":"The Muse Moos","author":"Rick Young","date":"May 17, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"I'm starting up another sleepless streak, continuing this wild, untethered week. At times it all seems well, at others bleak. It's like a slo-mo fall from off my peak. Perhaps I should be grateful for commotion, for life can ebb and crash much like the ocean. For pain, there's always\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":886,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=886","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":2},"title":"Cow Bombs","author":"Rick Young","date":"April 20, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Our military found a way to make cows fly. Now, every time they take a shit, some folks might die. A cow flop dropped from fifty feet up might not matter. But from half a mile the thing makes quite a splatter. All day, conscripted cows are fed on tasty\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":708,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=708","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":3},"title":"Fuzzy Specs","author":"Rick Young","date":"February 24, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"Quit shaking the scenery, Fuzzy. Distorted dimensions distress me. Why is the cow under the moon lowing? And have the leaves of grass been mowed and raked? Eliminate that giant flapping and pay heed to the rotating crop. The growth of industry is laughingly out of proportion. And shouldn't the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2581,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2581","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":4},"title":"Pink Slip","author":"Rick Young","date":"October 11, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Mickey D's not clownin' any more. Ronald's been laid off, and is he sore! His giant red hair wasn't meant to scare, but frightened little children to their core. Killer clown with trail of beef behind: hard to clear that from a youngster's\u00a0mind. Kids know cow feed counts in climate\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2417,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2417","url_meta":{"origin":751,"position":5},"title":"Ezra “Dog” Pound","author":"Rick Young","date":"March 8, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Some folks would put people down. Others like to pick 'em up. But the ones should wear a crown are\u00a0the folks who love a pup. Those in need of an ice melter, are aplenty, get in line. Head on to your nearest shelter. Pick you up a used canine. Rescue\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/751","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=751"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/751\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=751"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=751"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=751"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}