Jack and Jill went out for supper at their favorite diner.
\nJill was wearing her best dress and couldn’t look much finer.
\nJack drank two large Bloody Marys along with his meal.
\nBut Jill abstained; she didn’t like the way booze made her feel.
\nWith her food gone, Jill slid across the booth into his lap.
\nJack leaned in for expected kiss, instead received a slap.
\n"You didn’t eat your peas," she said. It sounded like a scold.
\nSo Jack obliged and cleaned his plate, although the peas were cold.
\nWhen they got home, Jill crossed the room, arms open for a hug.
\nBut Jack burped loudly, said, "Oh shit," and threw up on the rug.
\nAnd there it sat, a Christmas-looking pile of green and red.
\nWhat both hoped was a pleasant night went right downhill instead.
\n"I’ll fetch a pail of water so that you can clean that mess.
\nI’d help you out but I don’t want to get it on my dress."
\nAs Jack bent sadly to his task, he heard her hallway yell:
\n"I’ll be back in the morning. I can’t sleep here with that smell."
\nJack thought, "My life’s a living hell," and something in him died.
\nNext morn, Jill found him dead in bed, apparent suicide.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"