{"id":952,"date":"2017-10-03T01:23:31","date_gmt":"2017-10-03T05:23:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=952"},"modified":"2017-10-03T05:14:27","modified_gmt":"2017-10-03T09:14:27","slug":"torte-hogger","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=952","title":{"rendered":"Torte Hogger"},"content":{"rendered":"

I saw you crossing lanes
\nwhile on the whipped cream line.
\nSuch a bold infraction
\noften brings a healthy fine.
\nLater in the forest
\nI spied you shooting mousse.
\nThen I realized your problem:
\nsugar junkie on the loose.
\nI certainly can sympathize.
\nYou see, I am the fellow
\nwho long ago stooped low enough
\nto snort a box of Jello.
\nSo I could be your sugar king,
\nand you my sugar queen.
\nWe’d rule the streets.
\nWe’d eat dot sheets.
\nLook out on Halloween!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I saw you crossing lanes while on the whipped cream line. Such a bold infraction often brings a healthy fine. Later in the forest I spied you shooting mousse. Then I realized your problem: sugar … Read more<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[16],"tags":[3,4],"class_list":["post-952","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-poem-2","tag-poem","tag-poetry-2"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":967,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=967","url_meta":{"origin":952,"position":0},"title":"Redeem All Coupons","author":"Rick Young","date":"November 7, 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Sugar foresters plead from the confection zone. Record players scream the sound of bone on bone. No one knows you're home if you unplug the phone. The current is succinctly out of time, the vestibule encased by mordant rime. Tell the mailman you'll not be accepting bills. Move your tent\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2514,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=2514","url_meta":{"origin":952,"position":1},"title":"Coffin Nails","author":"Rick Young","date":"July 4, 2021","format":false,"excerpt":"Low sodium and sugar free. The two important facts for me. No candies, cookies, cake, ice cream. I'm stuck in a starvation dream. No Mars, no Mounds, no Almond Joy. Three Musketeers have lost this boy. No devil dogs, Yoohoo or Coke. It's all a tasteless, funless joke. My kingdom\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":754,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=754","url_meta":{"origin":952,"position":2},"title":"Calibrations in the Terror Zone","author":"Rick Young","date":"September 3, 2016","format":false,"excerpt":"John Cale was in the House of Anthrax before we'd even heard that word called terror. Terror is the unmoving phalanx of cars stretched twelve miles short of the city. Terror is a cloud you can't describe. Terror is the sound of engines silenced, unlimited progress on a flat map.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":540,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=540","url_meta":{"origin":952,"position":3},"title":"Happy Contrails 2U","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 20, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"Silent summer white lines in the sky always made me think that soon we'd die; more so coinciding with the noontime air raid test, neck craning to spot the fatal mushroom cloud out west. Hunkered under desks in red brick schools: looking back it seems that we were fools. No\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":544,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=544","url_meta":{"origin":952,"position":4},"title":"Preordained Snuffling","author":"Rick Young","date":"January 24, 2015","format":false,"excerpt":"If it was God invented mucus for our sinus cavities, He'd be the damned George Lucas of headspace depravities. Nasal canals fill up with liquid that turns into rock, then melts again and squirms like squid and dribbles down one's frock. Thank doctors for their decongestants, drying up face tunnels.\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":1386,"url":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?p=1386","url_meta":{"origin":952,"position":5},"title":"Blue Squared","author":"Rick Young","date":"May 27, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"The small window had a curtain made of checkered blue pajamas. Outside, in the verdant hills, there lingered packs of llamas. It might be South America, it might be Mexico. Judging by our only view, perhaps we'd never know. Day and night, from overhead, we'd hear the airplanes roar. We'd\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Poem"","block_context":{"text":"Poem","link":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/?cat=16"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=952"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":955,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/952\/revisions\/955"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=952"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=952"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/redtinnoodles.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=952"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}