Red Tin Noodles

He falls down a lot. But that’s cool. Just smokes a cigarette on the ground and mumbles something existential. He’s got a nickel- plated whiskey flask. But he can’t find it. Must be in the … Read more

My alter ego is in prison. He acts out more than I. In his early days of crime, he’d wink as I stood by. But things got really out of hand. He thrived on doing … Read more

I saw you crossing lanes while on the whipped cream line. Such a bold infraction often brings a healthy fine. Later in the forest I spied you shooting mousse. Then I realized your problem: sugar … Read more

My skeleton’s skin has taken me in; it’s told me lies, in front of my eyes. It’s shaped my days in a thousand ways. It’s helped me out, and without a doubt I wouldn’t be … Read more

A miasma of misinformed mitochondria were swimming in a pool of DNA. Put on some suits, gadzooks, you’re risking hypothermia, said a neutron who was sitting far away. It is no use, this is abuse, … Read more

We are in the middle of an electoral play. Romeo and Juliet have long since passed away. Hillary and little Marco fell before the sword. Lyin’ Ted and Lazy Jeb were just cast overboard. Now … Read more

Here’s your receipt for all the whippings you took back in a former life, when you lived by the book. Yes, it is hard to relive pained memories. But harder yet is to walk on … Read more

I’m opening my birthday cards, most of ’em from smart asses. They got their points, my achin’ joints, I can’t see without glasses. I can’t outrun the bus no more. No, and I hardly walk. … Read more

It would be a superb score in golf. And barely get me by in an exam. But as an age it makes me want to rolf. And that’s the age it seems today I am. … Read more

The cat loves to play with a Q-tip, a little baton he can flip and chew on. He’ll hold with his claw and just gnaw and gnaw. He’ll work on that thing ’til it looks … Read more

We cheered ’til the crowd went deaf. The war had been won in our minds. Electronic gods were declared dead. Aliens at last returned home. Water was free again and trees had agreed to be … Read more

In the bottom of the barrel, the cream of the crop languished, bruised, whipped and horribly folded, busted crowns and halos all about. The Crux Busters signature, plain as the glass on your face, a … Read more

You are the cat’s pajamas. You are the dog’s bow tie, the extra L in llamas, the owl’s nighttime eye. You are the sow’s silk purse, the horse’s lucky shoe. You taught the bird to … Read more

I’m looking for some glue, but all the tubes are empty. In the kitchen, aerosol cans hiss and try to tempt me. I’ve stolen vodka from next door. I’ve smoked a pipe of stems. I … Read more

Jack and Jill went out for supper at their favorite diner. Jill was wearing her best dress and couldn’t look much finer. Jack drank two large Bloody Marys along with his meal. But Jill abstained; … Read more