I tried to get a wine prescription.
Doc said that was just a fiction.
But I need my cabernet.
Couple glasses every day.
I find that it beats out pills
in defeating all my ills.
I just know I feel quite fine
with a dose of good red wine.
Meat Madness is a yearly
competition in our land.
Beef, fowl, pork and even lamb
vie for the taste most grand.
Some recall the famous upset
turkey victory.
But it’s hard to overcome
the great steak dynasty.
Then there was the year that veal
made its surprising run,
only to go down to bacon
at the final gun.
So, folks, fill out your brackets;
see if you can pick a winner.
All the world will watch
our famous championship dinner.
Who robbed the teddy of its sleep
by whispering of lions?
Who killed the poor electric charge
by stealing all its ions?
Who built a bridge across the fridge
and covered it with cream?
Who copped a night time attitude
they passed off as a dream?
Who named his cur Poor Goodnight Sir
and numbered all the lambies?
Why it’s the lad who’s only bad
when dressed in stolen jammies.
Snake in the grass
is an elegant motion.
Coil the horizon
’round ships in the ocean.
The poetry of air
is in the breeze.
The plight of life
is not to bite but squeeze.
I once mistook
an uncle for an eel.
It took him four long
painful months to heal.
Carcinogens can be found in aisle C.
Around the cabbage, cukes and cummerbunds.
Just before the coke and cocoa, comrade.
Cigarettes in cartons, if you’ve funds.
Careless castanets cascade around us.
Chokecherries and chainsaws caterwaul.
Cell phones and cicadas seem to call us.
Canted carousels have their own wall.
Continental cuisine packed in cardboard.
Cellophane and cake cohabitate.
Cold cream, chili, coconuts and cordite.
Cards that cry you must congratulate.
Carry-alls that celebrate consumption.
Craven chessmen carved of cedar wood.
Cans that cannot conceal cruel corrosion.
Chemicals would choke you if they could.
Cash and carry, credit or cold cash:
Cancer capital is its own crash.
