“Just the way I planned it,” claims the Prez.

Jared’s going to film it for a special.

It’ll be on pay-per-view, he says.

They’ll find every way to make a profit,

even in a country torn by plague.

Each designer face mask by Ivanka

costs as much as a Faberge egg.

Rudy got a deal on ventilators,

shipped up here from Mexico by bus.

Not a company many have heard of.

Translates into “Oxygen Is Us.”

Fauci’s been induced into a coma.

He was getting a bit out of hand.

He refused to bow to our great leader,

whose pure vision saved our sacred land.

Next comes the “Open Our Country Council,”

led by Kushners, “Nooch,” and Wilbur Ross.

It will spend much time in contemplation.

That’s if Ben Carson’s appointed boss.

In three weeks, a switch flips and we’re open.

Economy will boom, as good as new.

In four weeks, a rerun we weren’t hoping:

Welcome to Corona Virus II.