Red Tin Noodles

When licked, the hand of our benevolent ruler tasted just like butterscotch. He often wore a suit made from what in the west are usually called ‘jimmies.’ It was his strange custom when out walking … Read more

The rain claws dig deep inside the clothing, the skin, the meat, the essence and, finally, the meaning, producing a dampness of spirit ten days of sun may not dry away.

Good morning. Your church is toast. Your religion is jelly. Your salvation is scrambled. And still you pray for coffee.

I’m just a gypsy barnacle, searching for a rock to lie on, to die on, as the water laps my days. Encrusted on this old routine, I spend my time alone and thinking, "suction…suction." How … Read more

It’s a cold world, but the lights work and the trains don’t run on time. And there’s no hope but a taut rope for a man not in his prime. Four of ten men on … Read more

My teeth were sent to outer space, as part of some experiment with dogs and several poker-playing cosmonauts. Now I have a growing taste for Mars bars, starfish,moon pies, sun drieds and plutonium, which tastes … Read more

He’s cornered the bullshit market, eating Denver mints and popping pesos madly. He’s in love with the ruble, and makes origami wallets out of thousand dollar bills. He collects sand dollars, in case Atlantis rises. … Read more

Brendan hucked up a golf ball he’d swallowed several years ago after his only hole-in-one. It was a point of honor, his threesome insisted. How was he to know they were insane? Now at least … Read more

I shot the night into ragged quarters, through a Mexican-Russian standoff; singing dirty songs of earthworms and potatoes, unsteady, alas, on amped feet, and playing air guitar for the ghost outside the window.

When you’re in a jam, as I so often am, it’s best to stop and think before you start to sink. Do not succumb to doubt. There’s always some way out. Don’t panic or lose … Read more

There is no zone of safety anymore. Turn any corner, you may find a war. The fight may have to do with race, with underworld or outer space. The combat may use guns or knives. … Read more

It’s a shame computer games contain so many guns. Now aliens can shoot down dreams, agnostics hunt for nuns. Lucky kids who kill enough ascend to level three. Still we wonder at society’s great savagery.

Diamonds explode into a dwindling sky, but rain back down to earth as broken glass. One carat perches on a silver cloud. While the rest fall on the under class. The people gathering these shiny … Read more

When waiting for a train or bus, stay clear of those who spit or cuss. Despite their soft and furry backs, don’t pet the rats that roam the tracks. It’s good to bring a book … Read more

Santa’s in a nursing home. Rudolph conked him on the dome. It was clear St. Nick was addled when the reindeer were found saddled. Elves were working triple shifts. Toys were being lost in drifts. … Read more

A Spanish pup escaped the pound and headed toward the border. He happened on a frankfurt stand and dared put in an order. "I’ll have a weiner. Make it hot. I’ll need ketchup and relish." … Read more