Red Tin Noodles

Six weeks ago I bought a gross of ghosts. I thought they’d make tremendous party hosts. I didn’t realize they’re unionized. Before the sale I should have been apprised. They’ll only show up for approved … Read more

Dusty milk spots remain on the old barn floor where we used to play tag as kids. They were the safe zones, like baseball bases, where one could not be tagged. Problem was they were … Read more

Echo soundlessly inward beyond vegetable borders of limited dysfunctional reality. Confound irretrievable memory descending genetic ropes toward fathomless new beginnings. Explore erased capacities. Ignore external duplicity. Delve, unshelve and declassify. Investigate, extrapolate, dematerialize. (for Dr. … Read more

We’re caulking up the cracks in the facade of our reason. Environmental factors aren’t responsible this season. It seems that all the wear and tear is coming from within, ‘tween where propaganda ends and outright … Read more

Up at three a.m. again, sittin’ on the can. Sweatin’ out all last night’s gin, worried ’bout the man. He shut off my internet, even killed my phone. Am I frightened? Yeah, you bet! I … Read more

Where you can see Van Gogh’s Q-tip: ear wax museum She always complains about her high rent at the DaVinci apartment complex: moaner leaser What the Xerox thief figured he’d do in court: Copy Cop … Read more

60’s "Fifth Beatle" DJ, turned dentist: Murray Decay Wild west folk hero with esophageal spasms: Wild Bill Hiccup Ball club made up of little Cratchits: Tiny Team Disney memorabilia above the fireplace: Mickey Mantlepiece Ex … Read more

Kneel Young – Catechism Instruction booklet for pre-schoolers Franklin Mint . – after dinner treat from the Queen of Soul Conway Twitter – Hashtag Kellyanne Meat the Beetles – Japanese insect cookbook Chelsea Mourning – … Read more

Madness is in the eye of the beholder, said a man who lived in a toy box. It’s accepted when a kid or much, much older. In the interval between, it shocks. His walls once … Read more

No one saw the last strike coming, on the inside corner humming. No one saw the walk off homer, save the hermit Astrodomer. No one saw the infield fly never exit from the sky. All … Read more

Our military found a way to make cows fly. Now, every time they take a shit, some folks might die. A cow flop dropped from fifty feet up might not matter. But from half a … Read more

Thinking machine warped. That was the rumor. Perhaps a pressure on the brain, a tumor? No reason for the aberrant behavior. No defenders, certainly no savior. And now the time had come to pay the … Read more

I am in the middle of an instant revolution when the alarm rings and I am sent back to my sedentary self. No planet has my calendar on its docket. Eight ball, side pocket. Suddenly, … Read more

I knew a cow whose fur was made of sparks. Because of this, he found that he’d been banned from many parks. He longed to get into Comiskey. But secret service found him frisky. So, … Read more

Its sprouts look like an onion bulb, but smell like vanilla, or, in some strains, cinnamon, the driver explained as we careened along rain-slicked back roads to his country home. I was still wearing my … Read more

The sheep was out of bounds. Horses, hookers and dolls were o.k. But everybody hits rock bottom. Next morn it’s up and climbing. Every day thereafter is a mountain. Praying for a foothold. Cactus is … Read more

Trapped inside, like water. Outside, chain link and barbed wire. Concrete mesa and rock ledge. Broken glass and bottles thrown from on high. A wave of pulsing oil. Here comes a train again. Lost dogs, … Read more

He wandered into a fantasy of the prairie, a silver spoon child with such a cute scowl. He was going to be a cowboy, a spaceman, a pirate. Pirate was in his genes. He won … Read more