Red Tin Noodles

C- Manuel "Trans" Mission
(first transgender major leaguer)
1B- Lancelot "Red" Cox
(crusty vet)
2B- Levelone Bitterson
(never forgave pressure of name)
SS- Valenzuela "Dough" Meaney
(mom from Mexico, dad from Detroit)
3B- Conner Store
(hot prospect)
LF- Phlint "Striker" Locke
(well-travelled player rep)
CF- Marlon "Jackson" Martinette
(moonwalks the substantial pasture)
RF- Peter "Gray" Harris
(has got the arm)
P- Bumbershoot "Perry" Winkles
(never been rained out)

[LET THE GAMES BEGIN]

Ron Swoboda, Baltimore born, played right field for Mets.
Helped beat O’s in a series with a catch no one forgets.

Bud Black pitched for fifteen years, won one ring with K.C.
He manages the Padres now, succeeding Bruce Bochy.

Tony Fernandez helped Jays to series win at short.
He was perhaps the skinniest switch hitter in the sport.

Garrett Anderson played the most games in Angel history.
He won a series, Home Run Derby and the All-Star MVP.
30

Wilbert Robinson breathed baseball; life was just a hobby.
Eighteen years he managed Brooklyn, nicknamed "Uncle Robbie."

"Nippy" Jones was hit on foot by pitch in series game.
A turning point, shoe polish on the ball confirmed his claim.

Harmon Killebrew was six times A.L. homer champ,
The Hall-of-Famer’s best years spent in Senator/Twin camp.

Bob Shaw beat Sandy Koufax in a one-oh series duel.
He once balked five times in a game and that was not too cool.

Fred Gladding pitched for thirteen years as Tiger and Astro.
His lifetime batting average, oh-sixteen, is record low.

Al Downing, little lefty, came from Trenton to the Yanks.
He served up Hank’s seven-fifteen. For that we owe him thanks.

Don Baylor played in series three straight years with different clubs.
The power hitter later managed both Rockies and Cubs.

Mark Grace, as Cub in nineties, had most hits in the decade.
He finally won a ring after a Diamondback upgrade.

Gus Zernial was A.L. homer champ in fifty-one.
His baseball card the next year, balls-on-bat, was really fun.

Eddie Kasko, ex-infielder, helmed Red Sox for four seasons.
Had winning record but no first place for Oriole reasons.

Rico Petrocelli played both short and third, Red Sox his team.
He and Yaz were all stars in the Sox failed "Impossible Dream."

Jim Edmonds won eight gold gloves as an Angel and a Card.
He hit with power, won a ring. He could patrol that yard.

Babe Herman hit for the cycle a co-record three times.
His fielding and base running were considered minor crimes.

"Home Run" Brown, a longtime Monarch, is now in the Hall of Fame.
Better-known Josh Gibson gave Willard the powerful nickname.

Bill Robinson played sixteen years and got one series ring.
As hitting coach for Mets and Marlins, later got more bling.

Derek Jeter, twenty-year Yanks’ shortstop will step down.
Wearing five rings, his next destination’s Cooperstown.

Joe Kuhel amassed two thousand hits and had a funky name.
While with the Senators he had three triples in a game.

Dick Drago pitched for thirteen years and lost more than he won.
With Angels he gave up Hank Aaron’s very last home run.

Clay Kirby pitched for eight years, won a series ring as Red.
Retired, had a heart attack, at forty-three was dead.

Carlos Delgado’s twelve years with the Blue Jays brought him fame.
The Puerto Rican slugger hit four homers in a game.

Don Mincher’s last hit was a pincher, in A’s series win.
As Senator, he’d turned into both Ranger and a Twin.

Ken Reitz had two stints with the Cards and played a good third base.
He was slow, though, evidenced by his GIDP pace.

George Vukovich won his ring in his Phillie playing days.
After three years there, he went to Cleveland for Von Hayes.

Doug Jones, a five-time all star, threw sixteen years in the show.
He pitched relief, gave batters grief. His tosses were quite slow.

Karl Spooner struck out fifteen in his rookie Brooklyn win,
But hurt his arm next spring and he was never good again.

Tom Haller was a catcher who knew how to call a game.
In twelve years he caught six pitchers who made the Hall of Fame.

Marty Barrett, second sacker, three times worked hidden ball tricks.
Struck out by Orosco to end Sox-Mets series, eighty-six.

Jim Deshaies was starting lefty pitcher twelve years for six clubs.
Had best years with Astros and now does t.v. broadcasts with Cubs.

Carl Hubbell was a lifelong Giant, twice MVP, too.
Sixteen years of scroogies made his left arm a corkscrew.

Ron Hodges played twelve years with Mets. He grew up in the sticks.
The total of the games he played was (gasp) six-sixty-six.

Esteban Yan for twelve years was quite a travellin’ man.
He pitched for seven M.L. teams, Korea and Japan.

Ian Kinsler, Rangers thirty-thirty second sacker,
Just got traded to the Tigers for a home run hacker.

Eddie Lopat had great success in one five-year chunk.
Helped Yanks win five series with a vast array of junk.

Charlie Moore spent many Brewers years behind the dish.
Now he’s less well known than Charlie Moore who catches fish.

Rick Sutcliffe won Rookie of Year, later won a Cy.
Then went to the broadcast booth, where pitchers go to die.

Donovan Osborne came to Cards as lefty wunderkind.
But shoulder injuries left him to try and catch the wind.

"Cuno" Barragan caught two years with the Cubs and that was that.
His only highlight was his only homer in his first at-bat.

Dickie Thon played short for fifteen years and for six teams.
A fastball to the eye derailed a good career, it seems.

David Nelson, second baseman, was not Ricky’s bro’.
Currently he can be heard on Brewers pre-game show.

Phil Huffman pitched for just two years and had very few tricks,
Which was well evidenced by an E.R.A. over six.

Lou Gehrig was the "Iron Horse," until felled by disease.
The Yankee great first baseman saw six series victories.

Jerry Reuss pitched twenty-two years and with teams aplenty.
Won over two hundred games without once winning twenty.

Johnny LeMaster played shortstop during Giants lean years.
Once wore a shirt with "BOO" on back, responding to fans’ jeers.

Doug Mientkiewicz helped the Red Sox finally win it all.
Caught the last out at first but would not give up the ball.

Lou Brock was a Cardinal star and two-time champion.
His steal records were both broken by Rickey Henderson.

Andres Galarraga was a "Big Cat" at first base.
He moved from team to team with grace, a big smile on his face.

Sandy Alomar just couldn’t match his brother’s hitting.
But, unlike Roberto, he was never known for spitting.

Dave Leiper spent two stints each with the Expos and the A’s.
And in between, he hurled for both the Phillies and Padres.

Willard Nixon spent nine years upon the Red Sox hill.
Turned out it was only Yankees that the righty’d kill.

Dave Concepcion played nineteen years for Reds at short.
He was a cog in the Machine that one time ruled the sport.

Joe Charboneau played great his rookie year, then disappeared.
He still ranks high upon the list of Baseball’s All Time Weird.

Shawn Abner was picked number one in nineteen eighty-four.
Eleven homers later, he was closing baseball’s door.

Ron Leflore was noted for his great redemption tale.
Billy Martin signed the noted base thief out of jail.

Calvin Schiraldi in eighty-six was Red Sox closer.
Saved game one of series then turned into total hoser.

Wally Joyner, Mormon, Angel, first base rookie star,
Now is seen in ads selling a healthy chocolate bar.

Kerry Wood threw hard and struck out twenty in a game.
Various arm injuries have long since dimmed his flame.

Billy Williams had a sweet swing, mostly as a Cub.
They never made the playoffs with him. Therein lies the rub.

Dusty Baker managed twenty years and played nineteen.
Was in the on deck circle when Hank hit seven-fifteen.

Lance Parrish was an all star catcher, mostly with Detroit.
Not only could he bash the ball, his fielding was adroit.

Wade Boggs spent the eighties getting hits and eating chicken.
He won five batting titles and enjoyed a lot of lickin’.

Don Newcombe pitched his best years for beloved Brooklyn Bums.
Amongst the great souls of the game, he’s as good as it comes.

Herb Plews played for the Senators, the doormat of their day.
The second baseman’s career year occurred in double-A.

Luis Aponte pitched relief in baseball’s longest game.
The righty hurler’s in the Venezuelan Hall of Fame.

Mike Laga’s career numbers for three teams in nine years stink.
In one bad airbrushed baseball card, his uniform is pink.

Mel Parnell, deft lefty, had a fine Red Sox career.
The ten-year veteran hurler threw a no-no his last year.

Marcel Lachemann pitched two years relief as Oakland A.
Also managed briefly, not as well as bro, Rene.

Ernie Whitt, a catcher, had his best years as a Jay.
He came up with the Red Sox, but a Fisk was in his way.

Jonathan Lucroy is Brewers backstop for good reason.
First catcher with two seven-RBI games in one season.

Scott Aldred pitched for six teams ’til arm troubles did him in.
One season played forty-eight games without a loss or win,

Damon Buford played at USC, just like his dad.
In the majors didn’t have success that dad, Don, had.

Ryan Klesco often unleashed an enormous swing.
Three series home runs while with the Braves earned him a ring.

Hideki Matsui had great years as a Yankee.
Was first Japanese player to win series MVP.