Red Tin Noodles

Addie Joss pitched nine years near turn of century.
Has second-lowest ERA in baseball history.

Bob Zuk was scout for ten ball clubs for over forty years.
He signed three players who went on to Hall of Fame careers.

Johnny Antonelli was an all star Giant, east and west.
Twenty wins and series sweep in fifty-four were lefty’s best.

Charlie Lau, a backup backstop, did not have good stats.
Gained his fame as hitting coach: tutored many bats.

Jim Hearn pitched his best years for Giants, in the Polo Grounds.
Had two inside-the-park home runs, nine total, which astounds.

Sid Monge pitched ten years relief. He came from Mexico.
His best years were with Cleveland, where he had an awesome ‘fro.

Bret Saberhagen, with the Royals, won two Cy’s, a no-no and a ring.
Pitched best in odd-numbered years there, which, unto itself’s a curious thing.

Jason Varitek, catcher, captain, helped the Red Sox break the "curse."
Caught four no-hitters and in plate collisions seldom came out worse.

Chuck Connors, t.v.’s "Rifleman, played basket and baseball
With Celtics, Dodgers and the Cubs, before Hollywood’s call.

Frank Lary was a Tiger righty, twice won twenty games.
"Yankee Killer" was the best of his many nicknames.

Bob Watson cycled in both leagues, first time in history.
After a long career, excelled as G.M. and V.P.

Ken Griffey played with Red Machine and two world series won.
He had good stats but is best known for having a great son.

Hippo Vaughn won twenty games five times for Cubs in ‘toddlin’ town,’
His best in nineteen-eighteen, snaring N.L. pitching triple crown.

Nate Colbert played for nine straight last place teams in his day.
But, in one doubleheader, hit five homers as Padre.

Hal Morris had a strange stance but was known as a hard out.
When thirteen-year career was over, he became a scout.

Graeme Lloyd, tall Aussie lefty, threw ten years of spot relief.
Didn’t have great stats, but won two series rings with Yanks. Good grief.

Charlie Maxwell played left field for Detroit and won many hearts.
Wound up back in his hometown of Paw Paw, selling auto parts.

John Hiller, Tiger lefty, after six years had a heart attack.
Returned to set save records and pitched nine more years, a great comeback.

"Catfish" Hunter had three rings, a Cy and perfect game with A’s.
After two more rings with Yanks, arm trouble ended playing days.

Gary Carter’s long catching career led to the Hall of Fame.
In Montreal, near his old park, there is a street that bears his name.

John McGraw, as player, would do anything he could to score.
As manager, helmed many wins. Just Connie Mack has more.

Jake Daubert played fine first sack back in the dead ball days.
He had the skills to help a ball club win in many ways.

Bobby Doerr was good field, good hit, playing second base.
Set many Red Sox records that the Splinter would erase.

Adrian Beltre oft goes to one knee, swinging up.
The hard-hitting third baseman also plays without a cup.

Mickey Cochrane was a catcher with a lot of vim.
In ’31, Mutt Mantle named his first son after him.

Ernie “Schnozz” Lombardi had a famous “Big Snooze” game.
He is the slowest catcher in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Bert Blyleven piled up strikeouts with a mean curve ball.
After fourteen years, the dutchman made it to the hall.

Brett Boone’s dad Bob and grandpa Ray had long M.L. careers.
Brother Aaron played as well. Good ball genes, it appears.

Big Bill Dineen was pitcher, then an umpire, pray tell.
The only man to toss a no-no and call one as well.

Ron Hansen had a rare unassisted triple play.
A tall shortstop who hit his weight, not seen much in his day.

Rennie Stennett once had seven base hits in a game.
In a good ten year career, that was his claim to fame.

Cris Carpenter won twenty in his short stint as a Card.
Succeeded by a better Carpenter. Ouch. Life is hard.

Tris Speaker was a hit machine and outfielder sublime.
His career batting average is sixth highest of all time.

Mickey Owen, catcher, made a big error in forty-one.
It gave the Yanks a series game the Brooklyn Dodgers should have won.

Gil Hodges played a good first base for Brooklyn and the "Boys of Summer."
Many think his Hall of Fame exclusion is a total bummer.

Bart Giamatti became seventh commissioner of baseball.
He dealt with Pete Rose, died in office, raised an actor son named Paul.

Art Ditmar was often fifth in Casey’s Yanks rotation.
Lost two in sixty series, K.C. A’s next destination.

Wally Moon played outfield for the Dodgers and the Cards.
Hit Coliseum homers that were outs in other yards.

Alex Grammas played infield for Cardinals, Reds and Cubs.
Then, as coach, won series rings with two more baseball clubs.

Gary Pettis patrolled center field with speed and grace.
On his Topps eighty-five card, his brother took his place.

Luke Appling was a leadoff shortstop for bad White Sox teams.
His nickname was “Old Aches and Pains.” He was oft hurt, it seems.

Dick Radatz was a “Monster” on the mound at Fenway Park.
He had two great relief years, then his fastball got an arc.

Reggie Smith switch hit home runs for Sox and a few others.
He played back in the days when Boston had very few brothers.

Don Sutton won three hundred with a mix of craft and guile.
You couldn’t fault his method. That was not so with his style.

Rod Kanehl played second base for hapless early Mets.
The fans all loved their "Hot Rod." He was one of Casey’s pets.

Ron Perranoski was a Dodger relief king.
In sixty-three and sixty-five, he won a series ring.

Phil Niekro is a knuckleballer in the Hall of fame.
He had a twenty-twenty year and threw one no-hit game.

Rusty Staub in Montreal was called Le Grand Orange.
He was a chef, but sampling turned him into a blancmange.

"Moose" Stubing’s cup of coffee was just five times at the plate.
He briefly helmed the Angels, managed to go oh and eight.

Tom Hausman was a righty whose career was less than swell.
Quite often he was off the hill and stuck on the D.L.

Tracy Jones played for five teams in five years in the show.
Now he’s a talk radio host in Cincy, Ohio.

Chien-Ming Wang came from Taiwan to be a Yankee starter.
He threw a heavy sinker and his fastball was a darter.

"Ripper" Collins was an aptly nicknamed gashouse Card.
He played a slick first base and hit the horsehide very hard.

Grady Little managed Boston, took ’em pretty far,
But always will be Pedro’d for not pulling out his star.

Jack Lazorko was a righty hurler from Hoboken.
He was no Frank Sinatra: five career wins, I’m not jokin’.

Terry Bross had zero career wins as mop-up man.
He did pitch one no-hitter, but it happened in Japan.

Lon Warneke threw his best year by far for Cubs in thirty-two.
He got them to the series, but was swept by Yankees, Babe and Lou.

Vic Raschi was the "Springfield Rifle." His right arm was like a gun.
After years with Yankees, he served Aaron’s homer number one.

Glenn Davis was a powerful first sacker for the eighties ‘Stros.
Got traded, hurt, released, played in Japan. And that’s the way it goes.

Mike Fitzgerald homered for the Mets his first time at the plate.
Was swapped for Gary Carter, legendary Expos backstop great.

Wes Covington’s Braves series win would highlight his career.
Four seasons later, he played on four teams in just a year.

Lynn McGlothen came from Grambling up to the Red Sox.
He pitched for six teams in a career filled with hard knocks.

Bill Sudakis had bad knees. His teammates called him "Suds."
He had one good year (with Texas), seven others, duds.

Dick Ruthven was a chaw-jawed workman righty on the hill.
He was a two-time all star, won one series as a Phil.

Mel Queen gave up the outfield and he taught himself to pitch.
Threw hard, had twenty wins (for his career…that is the hitch).

Mike Warren threw a no-no in his first year with the A’s.
He only hung around two years, and then they parted ways.

Kevin Seitzer had two-hundred hits his rookie year,
Became a batting coach, per fifteen-hundred hit career.

Jose Vizcaino was an infielder/ switch-hitter.
Unlike keystone mate Offerman did not get psycho bitter.

Woody Held was traded to the tribe for Roger Maris.
Played fifteen years and, though no star, his stats do not embarrass.

Lee Mazzilli homered in his first All Star at-bat.
He had such lovely hair it seemed a sin to wear a hat.

Tom Glavine won three-hundred games for Braves (and Mets, as well).
He could have become just as famous in the NHL.

Jeff Kunkle’s dad happened to be a longtime A.L. ump.
He couldn’t help his son’s career, eight years, then in the dump.

George Sisler’s Hall of Fame cred is his most hits in a season.
He also hit four-twenty if you need another reason.

Jesus Alou played fifteen years but seldom took it deep.
The main complaint was that he ain’t no Matty or Felipe.

Gary Templeton was just one very coked-up Card.
Got traded to the Padres and then life got really hard.

Bruce Hurst still hurts when "Who’s On First" reminds him of this thing:
With one more out he could have had his own World Series ring.