Mister Sessions, I don’t deal in heroin or blow.
I don’t deal in oxycontin, either.
But now, for legal weed, you want to put me on death row.
Relax, chill out, AG, you need a breather.
I thought the rules had changed regarding marijuana’s sale,

the benefits realized in legal smoking.
But now you want to turn around and put me into jail,
and sentence me to death, you must be joking?
It’s not like legal smokers want to take away your gun.
It’s not like they’ll go wild and eat your babies.
They want to get high sometimes and just have a little fun.
But now you’re treating them like they have rabies.
Perhaps you are reacting to the old phrase "killer weed."
You realize that’s not what it really means.
You don’t have problems giving the real killers what they need.
Like wartime ammo and AK15’s.
So, back off, little brother, maybe you just need a smoke.
A little reefer might expand your thinking.
Go ask all your joint chiefs if they’ll let you have a toke.
It’s better for your health than bourbon drinking.