Red Tin Noodles

Laura knocked ’em dead in Louisiana, while Trump brought ’em to life in his D.C. Packed ’em in the garden, prisoners without pardon, rallying politically where he’s not supposed to be. Seated close together without face masks, … Read more

We’re losing Kellyanne because her teens are acting out. Their father hates their mother’s boss is what it’s all about. With parents both sides of the fence, home life had gotten strange. Mommy works for … Read more

Dabbled in flat earth a bit, obsessed now by horizon. Ted Cruz and red shoes a hit. It’s all on Verizon. Aliens and reptile men do not vote by mail. Take the ink, just not the pen. … Read more

Just when you thought insanity could not go up a notch, he criticized Michelle for shorting death count on his watch. “It’s tape delay, so I must say I’ve killed so many more. In this … Read more

Mail-in Fraud’s demon god will spit venom daily, like William S. Paley, threateningly, gaily. He is sending signals in his ever-changing hair. Had to cut his ties with ties. Deep surveillance there. He’s rounding-up mail … Read more

Stamp out the old post office. Bring back the pony express. Kidnap the corner mailbox. He’ll stop this mail-in mess. Stand in line and vote in person. Otherwise it’s ripe for fraud. Absentee ballots outside Florida … Read more

There was a round and orange man with worms inside his heart. His racist landlord daddy taught him tricks right from the start, then handed him the billions he had scammed throughout his life. But … Read more

Mike Pence will have to build a fence across debate stage floors. Mother says beware black women, most of them are whores. Mike will have to wear a mask and horse racing style blinders. Underwear, … Read more

Some kids go back to school today, as ordered by our leader, protected by their masks and plexiglass. It’s not the school of olden days; there is no Weekly Reader, instead a constant threat inside … Read more

Dick Nixon resigned on this date back in seventy-four. It was the culmination of his long and ugly war. In nineteen-fifty-eight, a crowd attacked him in Caracas. We ignored their warning. Maybe we needed maracas. … Read more

Trees are really not your friends, from their roots up to their ends. They like both the earth and sky. But you, human, aren’t their guy. They’ve seen you climb up their limbs, abuse them … Read more

Seventy-five years ago, on this very date, one U.S.-dropped bomb made Japanese incinerate. Some are still alive who survived this momentous blast. It may be number one in our atonement for the past. And just three … Read more

When the mind is feeling barren and the first cup is still full, it’s time to start some sharin’ with those folks who throw the bull. Social media jury, that island of pure fury, has … Read more

A big bomb in Beirut, on a big day, to boot. And California’s burning because of diesel soot. Isaias will not hit New York in its long passage north. The TikTok thing is just the … Read more

Kill the Postal Service with a sycophantic master. Make sure mail-in-voting is a November disaster. No need for investigation; A.G.’s got your back. Paper ballots destroyed by the bundle and the sack. “I told you … Read more

Grump says he’s banning TikTok. They pranked him back in Tulsa. It always starts in China. They’re giving him an ulcer. He won’t eat Chinese food. It’s full of MSG. They don’t have a great … Read more