At least that’s what he tells me and he won’t return my fee.

He said the courses were on line, kept somewhere on his Twitter.

He blamed me when I could not find and for that I am bitter.

He claims I have advanced degrees in cheating and deception,

that somewhere in the next four years there’ll be a great reception.

He doesn’t give out sheepskins because they’re too hard to eat.

Diplomas come on chicken skin, all crisp, and some have meat.

When asked about a cap and gown, he said no need for that.

Official Trump school uniform is long red tie and hat.

I’m called MAGA cum laude, have my own fraternity.

He charged me for induction after telling me it’s free.

I’m going to find the campus and protest his phony biz.

But I have looked all over and he won’t say where it is.

Calm down, he said, this will look quite good on your resume.

But every interviewer laughs and sends me straight away.

I even caught flack hanging my diploma on the wall.

“That thing just smells, my mother yells”, “Please put it in the hall.”

I’m disappointed there will be no meetings with alums.

As scams go, this one takes the cake and doesn’t leave no crumbs.