He wears it as a shield and as a mask.

But don’t try to touch it; he’ll have you erased.

You might as well not even ask.

The white ’round his eyes is like a disguise,

a negative of a raccoon.

It has the effect, what with his bloodshot eyes,

of making him look the buffoon.

If one were to come into contact with this,

seek immediate medical aid.

Some doctors have said even blowing a kiss

could cause a severe health downgrade.

It’s best in his presence to stand three feet back,

in case of a sneeze or a cough.

When his makeup flies, it pollutes the skies,

and you just can’t get that shit off.