I saw Satan at my polling place.
He had horns and all,
but he had Jared’s face.
Wearing a nice suit,
he looked quite tall and pale.
But, looking down beneath his cuffs,
I know I saw some tail.
And when I went to vote,
he quickly stepped right up to me,
said, “How ’bout a vacation
in the lovely heat for free?”
All I had to do was vote
against all of the Dems,
and I could see the fire flowers’
ever-burning stems,
swim the sizzling lake
and learn to walk on burning coals.
But I don’t think the devil
should be allowed at the polls.
So I said, “No thanks, Satan,”
and I stepped behind the curtain.
He was screaming he would
make my soul explode for certain.
I exited, expecting to see
many things I feared.
To my relief, there was no grief.
Jared had disappeared.