Come get your pardon,
available down at the Rose Garden,
redecorated, because the other way
my wife hated.
Your pardon costs less
than did changing this mess.
It’s not just us.
We’ve got expenses.
And then again there’s also the two Pences.
Here I am, fighting off libels.
All they do’s collect rare bibles.
Don’t forget Ivanka’s needs,
keeping Jared wrapped in tweeds.
DJTJ is another.
Needs his blow, unlike his brother.
Eric’s simple, and it shows.
Feed him, clean him, change his clothes.
Barron’s still a mystery.
Is he related to me?
Pardons ! Pardons ! Ink’s still wet.
If you haven’t got one yet,
step right up, you’re wasting time.
I’ll erase your every crime.
Buy one that’s before the fact.
Then, when you’re caught in the act,
you can wave it in their face.
Pardon ! Pardon ! Saving grace.
Come on down. See ‘Crazy Don.’
Orange pardon light is on.
You can get out of jail, free.
You just need to favor me.