When it was found Christmas-treeing was causing deforestation;

when it was discovered reindeer were going extinct due to failed flying lessons;

when a field of frozen elves in shallow graves was shockingly happened upon,

holiday eco terrorists went to their awful work. Santa was found dead in a midwest chimney.

Mrs. Claus moved to Daytona to live with her spinster sister. Frosty was tossed into rum drinks.

Christmas shopping was toned down to Hanukkah levels. No more insane Black Fridays.

People began to use ritual, prayer, family counsel and love instead of toy guns and crying dolls.

Old men in white beards no longer had to dress in red and the world was at last rid of tinsel.

Stockings were only hung for treason and the fireplace could be used for fire once again.

It was understood the lord had no stake in fancy bikes, electric trains, candy canes or i-anythings.

Perhaps somewhere in a manger, a depressed cow lowed and missed its drop in status.

And the secret society of baby Jesus creche robbers discontinued all memberships.

Silent night, wholly night. All is calm. All has been made right. Now we gotta work on Easter.