Oh, first I went and shot a quail.
And then I sent it in the mail.
And now I’m looking for some bail.
I guess that was an epic fail.

Quail, quail, everybody rail!
This is the chorus of the mailed quail’s tale.

Good sir, I did not realize
one could not shoot a bird that flies.
And for that I apologize.
In future times, I’ll be more wise.

O, it was not so much the killing,
but the mailing got you illing?
I find that assessment chilling.
Birds can fly air mail if willing.

Quail, quail, everybody rail!
This is the chorus of the mailed quail’s tale.

Good sir, I had to mail that beast
to a destination east.
It was his last wish at least
that he make the family feast.

But, if my actions still give pause,
arrest me and all my in-laws.
If one last banquet’s not good cause,
throw me in the eagle’s claws.

Quail, quail, everybody rail!
This is the ending of the mailed quail’s tale.