He claims he wrote the very first
hillbilly constitution.
He got hit by a truck but
still awaits his restitution.
Born to rust and death by dust
are words in his preamble.
He lost a finger in a bet
then swore he’d never gamble.
He picks up tin cans by the road
and feeds them to his goats.
He never rode an airplane
but has paddled several boats.
He told his family sell his body
parts off when he dies.
He dreams of Daisy Duke at night.
He’s called Earl of the Flies.