Animals have been getting into our downstairs kitchen for years.
It’s underground, so they have rights. I once found a squirrels’ nest
under a bookcase where they were using paperback pages for bedsheets.
But, over the years, I’ve fortified. I found breaks where they were coming in,
covered them with wood, plastic, even metal…they chewed through.
Then I found glass. Impenetrable. I drank wine frantically for a year,
amassing enough bottles to erect the Burrow-in wall, and with a swagger
contemplated embellishing with broken glass (I love the smell of squirrel
blood in the morning..). And I thought they were stopped. They were not.
Mice squeezed through. But made no purchase.
This fall I saw what looked like a flash of chipmunk after tracking down some noise.
Unused catnip was the target. I defoodified the kitchen area (we have no
running water there, so it’s a frozen wasteland) and sat back waiting.
They attacked the waste basket until it was lidded. Alas, their last forays
were dedicated to nibbling at a yellow soap bar,after knocking it into the unused sink. Each night a few more gnaw and scratch marks would amass. It was almost cute.
But last night they must have gathered a road crew.
N said she heard some crashing downstairs and in the morning, the soap bar was gone.
I fear a league of chipmunks has come to pass.