I knew a woman who got things all wrong.
She’d quote a poem, say it was a song.
She’d call a gong a bell, a bell a gong.
She’d go on much too much and much too long.
She’d call a club a spade and diamond heart.
She thought that all things lemon were too tart.
Some things she knew were wrong, yet knew by heart.
She’d call time out before you’d even start.
She didn’t even know the time of day.
A one way street would cause her much dismay.
One never knew just what strange thing she’d say.
"Do you need help?" she’d ask. I’d say, No way!"