Where you can see Van Gogh’s Q-tip: ear wax museum
She always complains about her high rent at the DaVinci apartment complex: moaner leaser
What the Xerox thief figured he’d do in court: Copy Cop a plea
Sox Hall Of Fame catcher patted down at airport: Carlton Frisk
Russian leader snubs Trump’s hotel while in NYC: Putin in the Ritz
Best gloves to wear in a dojo: karate kidskin
Famous CNN woman host has a frivolous day off: Maddow lark
Hoop star Kobe’s private roadway: Lane Bryant
Erle Stanley Gardner’s novel about attorney Perry’s time in the Marines: Mason jarhead
The red headed stranger’s entire music catalog: full Nelson
Physician’s photo session while posing atop reddish-brown horse:
sitting of the doc on the bay
Best backup singer ever’s info survey: Emmy Lou Harris poll
Is this currency good in this country?: wonder bread
Hideaway sleeping device caught in swirling flood waters: eddy Murphy bed
What Sir Edmund Hillary said when warned that Tensing had put on some extra pounds:
"Nothing he could weigh would scare me away from my guide"
Former fireball pitcher Nolan won’t let his own boy behind the plate when he’s pitching:
don’t let the son catch you, Ryan
"I Am Woman" singer’s dominatrix prop: Helen Reddy whip
Anyone who overreacts when winning a pinball game: Al Pachinko
Irish singer Morrison trying to flag down a cab: Van hailin’
New Starbucks treat made with horse milk: pony espresso
What Sergio became when he won the Masters: cheery Garcia
Bigfoot planning to sneak into camp to steal food: hairy plotter
Patient accidentally pees on the floor, covers it with hospital gown: johnny on the spot
If action actor Dwayne Johnson had male triplets, what he would call the last born:
third son from The Rock
Richie Cunningham portrayer’s butt: Howard’s end
What the wicked witch said to Julia Roberts: "I’ll get you, my Pretty Woman"
Selling "Tea For The Tillerman" CD’s on the street: Cat Stevens hawking
Spill mayonnaise after reading 33 pages of music: Miracle Whip on 34th sheet
Social satirist Mort’s preferred mode of transportation: Sahl train
When Robin William’s alien character worked for a pest control company:
Mork from Orkin
Scottish singer Donovan’s pathway in Oz: Mellow Yellow brick road
An extreme diva’s favorite season: prima donna summer
He sang the sea urchin version of "Venus": Frankie abalone
When one needs M&M’s to get through the day: candy crutch
New non-fiction tome about trends: faze book
" Folsom Prison" singer meets "Pet Detective" actor: Cash and Carrey
Magnum P.I. star allergic to gluten: Tom Celiac
Family Feud star Steve’s new sleepwear line: P.J. Harvey
"Rock Around the Clock" singer’s funny book: Haley’s comic
Fan base of legendary Looney Tunes voice artist Mel: Blanc generation
What the cowboys wanted to do when they spotted a field of large black birds: rustle crow
He sang the dog version of "I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends": Joe Cocker spaniel
Sing-along long distance runner: Mitch miler
The game that infuriated Art Garfunkle: Simon says
Favorite late night host of canines: Jimmy kibble
Mozart’s flatulence problem: classical gas
What they called Lancelot when he got insanely happy on Easter morn upon receiving marshmallow chix: gladdest knight and the peeps
Beauty contest for women with broken limbs: Miss Cast
Largest eel ever caught in Holland: moray Amsterdam
French king who was a real shit: Louis the turd
A very sloppy DNA splicer: Gene Hackman
Last climb before Dogma Mountain: Faith Hill
Big purple hot dog for kids: Barney Frank
What you call a pale man in a speedo: Whitey Bulger
Catholic church’s highest ranking kangaroo: Joey Bishop
Worst job at the International House of Insects: gnat turner
Late beloved Boston Pops conductor reshingles : Fiedler on the roof
Electronic book exposed to a gale: Kindle in the wind
Color of well-functioning brain: sane grey
Derive no pleasure from hypochondriacal aches: I get no kick from sham pain
Horror movie wherein monster emerges from a charred peanut:
Creature From the Black Legume.