Red Tin Noodles

On Christmas I heard a few footsteps downstairs. I snuck to the steps, clutching one of my bears. What I saw down there took my breath away. There sat old Santa, no suit and no … Read more

Saying goodbye is an art one learns when hellos are running low. If one times it perfectly, the last goodbye means time to go. The greetings all run out, there comes a time the farewell’s … Read more

Elon Musk, please fly the Don to another planet. You’re the person of the year, so start this fire and fan it. Yes, you’ve got electric cars and money everywhere. So, it should be easy, … Read more

Bob Dole is gone and cast now as a patriot and hero. Yet his post-senate career rates somewhere less than zero. He whitewashed lobbyists from oligarchs to kleptocrats. He spent his late years ushering a … Read more

Singing songs to omicron, trying to get my vaccine on. All this Covid variation makes me long for a vacation. Either an edenic field or hermetically sealed. Just somewhere the germs won’t spread, or ’til … Read more

California is killing the Amazon rainforest, exporting more crude oil than any other state. Sixty six percent of all extracted hits our country, and most of that is aimed for Cal, an overwhelming rate. Four … Read more

Sea creatures are now colonizing our great garbage island, floating plastic twice the size of Texas. Forty coastal species now inhabit the debris, a waste ecology’s Pacific nexus. The Great Pacific Garbage Patch, all eighty-thousand tons, is … Read more

Doctor F is now our one true leader, has been since he dumped Emperor T. All the news that fits, he is the feeder, controls all you hear and what you see. These are classic … Read more

When it was found Christmas-treeing was causing deforestation; when it was discovered reindeer were going extinct due to failed flying lessons; when a field of frozen elves in shallow graves was shockingly happened upon, holiday … Read more

Who drives the black car fate? And what if it comes late? Might one miss the spotlight and drive off in the night? Fate has no GPS. so missing is a mess. There’s forks and … Read more

For a deaf, dumb and blind boy to master a pinball game is nowhere near the effort it took for a young girl in the same circumstances to learn language from scratch. Not only did … Read more

Three molecules were standing in a line, in DNA court, asked to pay a fine. They’d called some atoms hurtful names, like ‘micro-dot’ and ‘mini-claims.’ Outside, atomic crowds insisted molecules should be black listed, while the … Read more

Musk and Bezos broke the bread. Most everyone else was dead. Shatner, now a-hundred-ten, had to be revived again. Turkey served in Pez dispensers set off the food warning sensors. Stuffing made of vegan dirt … Read more

Thank you, God, for making our predecessors so easy to eliminate. We invited them to lunch, and traded them our beads for their great land. We relocated, restricted and tortured them. We gave them smallpox-infected … Read more

We’re going on a protester hunt, inspired by that crying killer grunt. His thoughts on Black Lives Matter was to cause a bit of splatter, bloodying Kenosha’s streets, first kills one and then repeats. Shot … Read more

The arc of the sun has shortened its path, come down for the season of winter and wrath. The fall was a ball with its leaves many hues, but they’re on the ground now, just … Read more

Welcome to the new civil war. It looks like chairman T has got the floor. It’s not a filibuster, just overflowing bluster. He’s counting on his side for a big score. The bikers and militia … Read more

Electricity. What a cool invention. We used to have to heat by fire, torchlight for attention. Now we only flip a switch and on and off goes power. No more need of gaslit sconces in … Read more

Each birthday after seventy’s like going over par. The putts you dropped now roll aside. Your drive does not go far. The layups that were breakaways since days when you were small are now chased … Read more