Football is a game which can prompt some heated discussions,

some about statistics, some about concussions.

People’d rather see these very pumped up gladiators

doing their tough mayhem dance, quite unlike fey ice skaters.

When they score, they celebrate as if they’ve saved the world,

all because a pigskin ball was caught when it was hurled.

Wearing so much armor you can barely see their faces,

yet it’s a safe bet some will lie broken in some places.

During half time bands with tubas march around the field.

Then the battered bruisers come back out to see who’ll yield.

When at last the time runs out and one’s declared the winner,

they go to the locker room and eat pain pills for dinner.

All in all, it’s not a game that one should teach a child.

Don’t spend your summers working out, go find the girls gone wild.